Sunrise With You | Taekook

Chapter 10

Jin P.O.V.

I had known these guys for two years now, when they started coming every week after I first opened the Cafe. They were great and I considered them my friends. We had talked a lot through these two years. They had trusted me with lots of their concerns and worries for being idols. 

It was a shame that they couldn't have a  regular life as the rest of us did, experiencing hanging out with friends and playing around without being afraid of anything. 
So I was happy and glad that they were coming with us to Daegu for Thanksgiving. When Yoongi first asked, I was taken aback as I knew what this date meant to Taehyung. But when he agreed and said it was okay, I couldn't help but smile. 

To think about spending time out of this VIP room with Namjoon… it made my heart flutter. I tried to hide it the best I could, but happiness was radiating out of my pores. Well, that was until I saw Namjoon's face. 
When Yoongi suggested the plan, Namjoon's eyes widened and he looked at his friend as if he wanted to murder him. After that, he stayed completely silent. His face pale and his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. Not a sign of happiness to the thought of spending time together. But on the contrary, he was acting as if he hated the idea. I mean, he never said he liked me but at least I thought he would like to hang out with me and spend time together, the two of us. I had had a huge crush on him since I heard him talk for the first time. He was intelligent and funny and caring. He wasn't even the oldest of the group but they chose him as their leader, probably because he had this way of being, of speaking and thinking. He always knew what to say to their friends at the right moment. He also knew when to reprimand them for being childish or redirect them when they were going the wrong path. I didn't just like him for his physique, I liked him for who he was. And I didn't even know that much about him. All these were just things I got to see over time.

Exactly because of that it hurt that he didn't even spare me a glance since the plan for Thanksgiving came out. He just turned his back to me and ignored me. I was mad. Even if he didn't like me that much to be in a relationship, I always thought he'd liked me, just a little. Sometimes I had caught him stealing a glance in my direction or blushing when I said a compliment. 

There were many guys who were trying to get in my pants, but I didn't like to hook up with anyone like that. I had done it before in another time of my life and I didn't want to go back to that. It made me feel like I was a toy used just to help others feel pleasure. Guys didn't even care if I was liking it or if it hurt. They didn't even usually let me cum, they would just come inside me and leave. So the thought of all this time thinking he liked me back but actually he just liked my body and pretty face like everyone else before him was making my eyes burn.
I had had a crush on him for two long years. It was the first time after all those bad experiences that I actually felt something for someone again, wanting to be something more than just friends. 

I was staring in the direction where he was seated, almost burning a whole on his head. Yoongi, as if taking account of the situation, cleared his throat, making Namjoon look at him. He pointed at me quickly with his eyes and Namjoon followed the movement, meeting my eyes for a couple of seconds before I decided that it was enough. I was done with this. I had been stupid. If in two years nothing had happened, what the hell would change now? It wasn't even Namjoon's fault. It was mine. 

I turned on my heels before tears would start falling down. I was almost at the doorway when Namjoon yelled from behind. 

"Hyung! Wait!" He said standing up from the chair. A scream that seemed to be from Jungkook escaped from under the table, Namjoon realizing he had stepped on the younger and apologizing several times. I took my chance and left the room so I wouldn't have to face him like this. I closed the door behind me and decided to go to the backroom. I didn't want anyone to see me having a breakdown for a crush that didn't even like me back. Why would he, anyway? He could be with many handsome and perfect idols instead. 

I had just reached the door knob of the backroom in the hallway when a loud voice spoke from behind. Steps sounds of someone getting closer to me quickly. 

"Hyung! Hyung, please wait!" Namjoon said leaving the VIP room. I didn't wait and entered the backroom closing the door behind me. My back leaning on the wood as I let my body fall to the floor. I couldn't hold the tears anymore. My cheeks now wet and sobs leaving my throat painfully. I didn't know I had fallen for him this much until now. And it hurted like it never had hurted before. I had fallen deep enough and there was no one to save me from the fall, not even myself. 

I could hear Namjoon's voice in the background of my crying. His fists knocking on the door as he tried to open it. 

"Hyung please. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he pleaded. I was angry, at him and at me. I was sad and embarrassed for doing this. For letting him see me like this out of the blue. I hated it. I really hated this. 

Namjoon's voice disappeared and the knocking stopped. But I couldn't find myself to stop crying, hugging myself with my knees on my chest. I had so many emotions bottled inside me that now all of them found an escape to be released and I couldn't stop it. The next time there was a knock in the door, it was different. It wasn't desperate like before, it was soft. And the voice that came with it made me turn around and open the door. Just to see my best friend standing there, looking down to find my eyes. His face was full of worry and sadness. 

"Hyung…" said Taehyung before entering the room and closing the door again. 

"Hyung, it's okay. He's gone" he said kneeling down in a whisper. His thumbs caressing both of my cheeks and sending away the tears. 

And that was all I needed to break down into pieces.