The Rules to Redemption

Chapter 46: False fate lies here

This is actually the longest I've disappeared to but I have a valid excuse.
Basically I accidentally killed the cat so now I gotta find a replacement.

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"Why are you smiling like you're afraid?" Damien asks me, hooked to a bunch of wires and only his ego keeping him conscious.
We were alone, we're always alone it's how we liked it. An audience meant as little to us as sanity itself.
"Because even if we get through this, I'm afraid of the days ahead." I admit, honesty was my witness.
"Present fears are less than horrible imaginings." He speaks palming his head.
I stare fiercely at his IV's, "next time you quote Shakespeare whilst you're dying, I'll kill you myself." I threaten him, again.

He smiles staring at the ceiling whilst a part of me analyses the angle of his jawline in its heightened perfection. A smile I've grown to love and one that occurs at little moments, moments that are significant to him and him alone. His smile is personal, not even meant for me yet I can't be inclined to look away, it holds too many parts of my soul already.

I think about my life a lot, how I managed to end up here. Truth be told, I've experienced more melancholy in the past six months than I had my entire life. I often wonder where I would've been if I made different choices, perhaps things would have been easier.
Though none of those thoughts seem to matter when I think about what makes me feel alive.
The danger, the fear. I crave it all.
There's something about being at the bottom that makes the chase for the top so much more exciting. Slavi had pushed me to the depths of my soul and now I couldn't find anything more anticipating than the path to ruin him.
To redeem my pride and everything in it.

"How's Marcello?" He asks me not really wanting an answer.
"He's," I pause because I didn't know. He didn't want to see me either. "He's with Cebrian."
"You know T, I couldn't care if the entire world hated me but I care if he does. He's the only person who's opinion of me I cared about." He sighs and I can't help but burrow sympathy within me.
I can't comfort him with words because I find that my words give him too much hope, hope which can be misleading.
"Things will come together. It may not end up the way you want to but one way or another, it'll be ok." I muster the okay words to say in this situation.

"You disarmed a bomb today." He smiles.
"Oh I'm going to step on Slavi when I find him and then step on his daughter." My teeth growl.
"Tallia, that's a child." He raises his eyebrow at me.
"So what Damien, I don't like children." I fold my arms, "Milo is the exception but she's still a peasant."
"Why don't you go home and see Milo? Tell her I'll be ok." He suggests.
"I'm not leaving you Damien." I reply.
"I'll be fine besides I assume that you have some words you'd like to share with your brother." He adds.
"Words can wait. I don't mine silence if it's in the presence of you." I ensure him.
Silence is ok with him, it reminds me that it was just us and I hoped it would always be just us.

Very few people have that one love that despite anything, they'd never loose grasp of. He was mine, when he existed there was never anyone before and I knew that there would never be anyone after. This love was ours and it would've been a crime for anyone but me and him to experience it.
I'm selfish enough to obtain it for ourselves.

My mother walks into the room in scrubs which is an...odd sight to say the least.
"This is not working for me." I eye her.
"How am I your daughter and know as little about you as I could know about a stranger?"
My words were true, lately it would seem that everyone had this part of themselves that they just hid from people that deserved the truth most.
I'm no saint, I do it too but my own mother?
I'd never keep such truths from her.
"It's a product of my past darling, one I'd rather not have to explain. It doesn't change me or who you know me to be." She tries to assure me but I can't be compelled by that answer.
"I'll start to believe your words when you start telling me truths." I draw my eyes to Damien.
"What were you guys doing at dinner together?"