The Rules to Redemption

Chapter 54: Home with you

Definitely didn't disappear for a month.

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Coming home felt somewhat weird, it was the type of unfamiliar place that comforts you. That no matter what, I'd feel safe, protected even. Maybe it wasn't the house that made me feel like that, a place is often just a place until people make it more than such.
The people in it were what made me feel ok and Ok was enough for me when faced with the betrayal of my father.

I stared the house down as Damien pulled up to the driveway, I was mainly thinking whether my brother would be home or not because I hadn't the faintest clue of how I would address him. We don't do well with conflict towards each other, we tend to just shout or say nothing. Neither of which will benefit anyone.
"He's not home." Damien answers my unspoken question.
"I literally didn't say anything." I raise my eyebrow at him.
"You're thinking it." Him so confident in his words.
"You don't know what I'm thinking or who I'm thinking about." I scoff.

He shakes his head, "look at me."
I do so, willingly or perhaps not and his eyes stare me down for a moment or two and the he lets out a laugh to himself and looks away.
"What?" I ask confused.
"Your eyes do these little movements when you're thinking about certain people. Your pupils shift down when you think of me." He enlightens me.
No they don't? Yes they do.
I look away.

"And your eyes shut for less than a second when you're thinking about Malachai, very subtle but noticeable." He tells me.
"Maybe there's just dust in my eyes." I roll them.
"For sure." He nods.
"Can I ask you something?"
"You ask me things anyway Damien."
"Most people would get the impression that Malachai couldn't care less that he hurt you since he's so distant. But you don't, why not?"

"Because he's Malachai, when he hurts someone he doesn't stay to beg for forgiveness. It's one of the selfless things about him, he'll give you your space and it would only be a fault of mine to interpret that as him not caring." I enlighten him.
"Don't you think that maybe that is a little lenient? You'd never let anyone else do that." He adds.
"No one else is my brother. And I don't know other people like I know him" I shrug.

"Come on." He opens his door changing the conversation and I open mine, stepping onto the gravel beneath my feet.
He tries to take my bag, "if you think I am going to get butterflies from you carrying my bag, you're wrong." I warn him.
"No love, I'm just trying to revive chivalry." He smirks taking it out of my hands.
I punch the butterflies in my stomach away.

...

"Which meal are you on?" Cebrian asks me walking into the dining area.
"Number 4, what's your point?" My face offended. "Do you know how hard it is to eat Marcello's food? He's so pristine, I mean how many fucking types of pasta is there? I just want a burger and fries and then ice cream but when I told him that, he threw a cat at me. Well obviously not his cat, that one is...missing, it's a replacement one."
"I didn't ask for all that information Tallia but thank you." He nods.
"You're welcome." I smile ecstatically before diving back into my food.
Fuck, I regret leaving now.

Damien bringing me back home was one thing but he's made a point to keep somewhat of a distance and I like that. A small part of me is still mad that I don't want him to be so far, I sort of want him here, with me but I don't have it in me to tell him that. I feel as though if I am too forgiving, it'll give him license to hurt me again, even if that wasn't his intention.
I just really don't want to be hurt by him again.

I fall back on my chair and let out a huge sigh knowing I have regained all the weight I had lost on my daily canal walks.
Picking up my phone, I realise that Marcello and Sierra must have thought I had been kidnapped.
Oh gosh, they must be so worried about me!
Dialling them instantly, I wait as the line rings in fear because I'd hate to have them feeling such anxieties. Marcello picks up the phone and I am relieved, "Its me Tallia, I'm okay. Don't worry! I'm alive, I'm here."