Book of Relief.

Body

Sadly, my courage is down the drain,
And insecurities engraved in my brain.
It's repulsing to breathe.
I want to love my body since I thought they loved me.

Losing weight is a waiting game,
I can never seem to keep my mind tame.
I can't handle this body,
As it is twisting into a stranger who isn't me.

It keeps getting bigger.
Someday, I hope my worries will last no longer.
Oh, I hope not to be as ugly too.
Trust me, if you were in my shoes.

My eyes are swollen,
My self love has been stolen.
My stomach is wide.
I can't help but be engulfed by this negative tide.

Do I need an eating disorder to love myself further?
I desperately need my body to disappear faster.
I dig deep within my skin, hoping for it to go away,
And to never come back another day.

I claw myself to numb the pain,
No satisfaction I can ever gain.
For there is no one but me to be blamed.

Identity remains a position never claimed.
Longing for my body to get smaller,
My stomach keeps growing larger.
Looking in the mirror, there is a different me.
Someone who has always been held under society's complaining spree.

I claw myself more.
I just want to be someone others could adore.
Yet, there is nothing but tears I pour.
Free me from this hateful galore.