DAMNED

10) Surrender

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I wouldn't cry for the bastard.

My emotions conflicted within me like fire and ice. I slid down the wall of the shower and hugged my knees as the water ran down my aching body. Looking at the ground, I watched how some man's blood swished around me. I felt sick, hurt, embarrassed, and stupid. I was a mess. This feeling of him being gone, it felt like salt to my wounds. Why did I even care? If I hadn't told him about Anthony, would he have stayed? I didn't like the feeling of being abandoned, of being alone. It happened to me too much already.

I tightened my eyes pushing away the thought of that man trying to molest me. If Vitaly hadn't been there on time, if he hadn't gotten there then God forbid what would have happened. Yet, at the same time I was mad. Mad at myself for not being able to fight back. The thought of being weak scared me. No matter how much I wanted to defend myself with that man, I couldn't. I was physically and mentally drain. The thought was petrifying. I never expected to ever be in such a situation. I hated being the damsel in distress yet I found myself doing that quite lately.

What was wrong with me? I promised myself I wouldn't be weak. I promised myself I would always fight back but I didn't today, I couldn't. Maybe that's how my mother felt when she died. I always wondered why she didn't fight back from those men but I never considered how she would have felt physically and mentally. I felt drained today. Maybe that's how she felt, my mother was helpless.

I had to get myself together.

That was it. No more of this weak baby shït. I had enough and Vitaly better understand that. He better understand that he can't push me around anymore. I was tired of his bipolar crap. Even if he did have a reason to walk out on me, he shouldn't have reacted so harshly. He shouldn't have made me feel like this. Like I needed him. I don't. I don't.

Taking a deep painful breath, I continued my shower. Wrapping the towel around me, I stepped out the bathroom only to find Natalia sitting on the edge of the bed.

"These were the best I could find. Most of the boutiques were closed." She frowned and gave me pajama shorts and a decent sized loose T-shirt along with other essential stuff in the bag.

Still, I was grateful to her.

"Thank you." I smiled.

I hadn't expected it but she shot a subtle smile back at me, "Vit's in another room, he'll be done soon. Don't make him wait, he seemed angry."

Quickly going back into the bathroom and getting dressed I came out and found him sitting on the sofa while Natalia looked out the window.

"Good. You're here." Vitaly stated looking at me as if nothing had happened between us.

I took in his attire, it was different yet a nice look on him. His dark damp hair tousled perfectly, dark jeans, charcoal grey T-shirt and a black leather jacket. It was weird not seeing him in a suit yet it was refreshing seeing the monster in this style.

"What are you going to do now?" Natalia suddenly asked.

Turning to her, he gave a tired sigh and rubbed his chin casually, "Donovan and I would go back to the house. I'll look into this matter tomorrow."

"She could stay here if you want to look into this now Vit." She offered.

Before I could open my mouth, Vitaly interjected, "No. She's coming with me."