Warmth: A Snowpiercer Fanfiction

The Definition of Insanity

Chapter Song: Howl, Florence + the machine

I had zoned out after Curtis lifted me up and had some of our men take Edgar's body away. I refused to look anyone in the eye after that. I didn't even pay attention to what Mason was saying as she was chained up. Andrew and Tanya threatened her to tell them where their kids were, Mason simply said that Wilford liked children and that's why he took them. Gilliam wasn't convinced with that story though. What finally caught my attention was when Mason said Edgar's name.

"Too bad you couldn't save your second in command. What was his name? Edgar?" I almost lunged forward, but Curtis beat me to it. He had a knife to Mason's throat and she yelped in fear.

"Shut the fuck up!" Curtis shouted at her, she turned her head away from the blade.

"Curtis please! I can help you!" She begged for her life. I found it pathetic.

"You can fucking die is what you can do!" Curtis snarled in her face. Even though I was still mad at him for letting Edgar get killed, I felt a little better knowing he actually cared.

"Curtis, I know the train. I can take you to the front!" She was practically in tears.

"Why should I trust you?" Curtis snapped, still holding the blade to her throat.

"Because I want to live." Mason said after a moment of hesitation. "If I take you to the front, you have to kill him. I can get you close, you know." She added, this surprised me just as much as it did everyone else. Who knew Mason would sell out "Wilford the benevolent"? Mason, in an act of strangeness, pulled out her dentures and smiled a bit. We all looked at her in confusion, but I had a lightbulb go off in my head.

Wilford did that to her.

I had went back into the car lined with windows to watch the dull orange sun set in the distance. I could have enjoyed it more if I didn't feel so numb. I was done crying over Edgar, even though it still hurt to think of him not being here. But, crying wasn't going to bring him back, and neither was being scared. At that exact moment, probably even earlier than that, I decided to stop being afraid. I could practically feel my heart harden in my chest. If there was anything left in this frozen world that I truly wanted, it was Wilford dead at my feet.

I felt Curtis' hand gently touch my shoulder, I didn't flinch, but I didn't turn to acknowledge him either.

"Sam, please talk to me." He said, worry still laced in his voice.

"Why?" I asked, hearing my scratchy voice for the first time after the battle.

"Because, I'm worried about you that's why." He said, almost in shock that I would even ask that.

"That's not what I was asking." I muttered, turning to face him but keeping him an arms length away. "Why did you go after Mason and not Edgar?" I questioned, finally feeling something other than numbness. I felt anger. Curtis looked at me in slight disbelief.

"She's our ticket to the front and killing Wilford. I couldn't let her get away, we would've been slaughtered." He explained.

"But we're already slaughtered. We came in here with fifty men, there's less than twenty now." I said, remembering the head count that Gilliam had taken. "Why are we even doing this? So we can live up in the front section and eat steaks?"

"No, that's not-"

"It's bullshit Curtis!" I yelled, "It's bullshit that we have to lose people like this!"

"You don't think I miss Edgar!? I wish I could've saved him, you have no idea how much it took for me to turn my back and go after Mason!" He shouted, stepping closer to me.

"That's just it Curtis! You turned your back! You couldn't even watch him get killed, I had to!" I screamed and shoved his chest roughly. He grabbed my hands and stopped me from swinging at him. I struggled against his strong grip, but it was useless. I ripped my hands from his and turned away from him, but I felt his arms encircle me from behind. I clenched my eyes shut and sobbed into Curtis' arm. There were no tears, just dry sobs that scratched up my parched throat.

"I'm so sorry you had to watch him die." He said into my ear, "But, I had to go after Mason. It was the only way." I didn't say anything, but I knew deep down that he was right.

We just stood there for a long time, not facing each other but knowing how both of us felt. After the sun had set and the windowed compartment was almost pitch black, Gilliam had called Curtis over to him to talk about the next step. Curtis reluctantly unwound his arms from me and gave me one last glance before going over to Gilliam.

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed in exhaustion. I took a step forward, but paused when I felt something under my shoe. I crouched down and saw that Curtis had left his black woven hat on the metal floor. I picked it up and without a second thought, pulled it over my head. It was a little big and it slouched in the back, but it provided some warmth. I walked past the area where Mason was chained up, but I froze when her voice quietly rang out.

"It's sweet, really. How much he cares for you." She said, a hint of amusement in her tone. I turned around and slowly sauntered over to her. Her hands were chained behind her back to a metal post and she was sitting on the floor, looking rather uncomfortable. I figured I might as well humor her and listen to what she had to say. So, I took one of the empty crates that was stacked in the corner and sat on it across from her.

"Yeah, well, we all care for each other in the tail section." I sighed, and rested my elbows on my knees. She sucked her fake teeth and rolled her eyes at me. I clenched my jaw to keep from shouting at her.

"The tail section," She snorted, "you lot are so dramatic, complaining about food and medicine. We give you those things and you just ask for more." She sneered, tilting her chin up pompously. I could practically see red. Anger coursed through my body at a rapid pace, my mind was teetering on the edge of psychotic rage.

"You think we're dramatic? You try living in our conditions for a week and see how dramatic you get." I hissed, pulling out my blade and fiddling with the sharp tip. She eyed it warily, but didn't seem too nervous about it.

"Is it really that bad? I honestly don't see it." She said nonchalantly, like how we were treated meant nothing to her. Which it probably didn't.

At that point I decided to stand up and walk around her, circling her like a predator.

"I bet it's nice up there. Warm, bright." I said, stopping behind her.

"Yes, it is. Definitely better than this dirty place you call home." She hissed, craning her head to look at me. I tilted my head to the side a little and narrowed my eyes at her, circling her some more.

"How was it up there in the beginning?" I asked, genuinely curious but still wanting to taunt her.

"Survival was our main concern, we had to ration some things like clothes or soap. But, after about a week things settled down." She said casually.

"Hmm. Must've been hard." I snapped sarcastically.

"Well, I'm sure it wasn't any different than back here. It couldn't have been so bad." She stated, shrugging without a care in the world. I crouched down next to her and got close to her face.

"What's your definition of bad?" I snarled, "Because mine is taking a human being, ripping it open and feeding on it." I pressed the blade into her cheek hard enough to draw blood. She winced in pain and finally showed some fear. I gave a short laugh and took the blade away from her face. Stepping away from her, I gave a malicious smile before turning my back and heading to find Curtis.

A/N: So, yeah. Sam's kinda gone cray cray. Thanks for reading! Also, I checked the number and this has gotten over a thousand reads! Thanks so much!