Larry Stylinson Oneshots

Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Banana

Author: imustbecrazies

Summary : Louis doesn’t want to go back. He’s stubborn and most certainly doesn’t want to prove Curls right. Doesn’t want to admit that he’s shallow enough to start buying fruit because the boy selling it is cute.

But shallow is Louis’s middle name.

___

An inch.

It’s only an inch and yet- “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Louis hisses. He’s tried jumping, wiggling, and even not breathing. He wants to blame the zipper or the button or anything really, anything but his slightly pudgy stomach, but he can’t. It’s a cold, hard truth admitting that he can no longer fit in Zayn’s jeans.

“Did you shrink these?” Louis asks. He doesn’t sound desperate. (Except for how he totally does.)

“No way.” Zayn’s slipping comfortably into his pants; no jumping or wailing involved. Fuck him. “You know Liam does all the laundry.”

“Right.” Louis grimaces. “Liam.”

Zayn wrinkles his nose and flicks Louis on the side of the head. “Don’t say his name like that.”

“Whatever.” Louis huffs. It’s all Liam’s fault anyways. Liam and his stupid health food. Before Liam their apartment had things like macaroni and cheese and coke and cheetos, the staples of a young man’s diet. Now the kitchen is filled with lentils and quinoa and kale (which Louis refuses to accept as a food, it's like chewing on leaves). Who can blame Louis for sneaking take out and candy bars? He’s a growing boy (man? man-boy?); he’s got to eat. “Aren’t you the one who’s supposed to get all complacent and fat?” Louis complains. “It’s not fair that you get a boyfriend and I get the weight.”

Zayn shrugs, “Liam could train you.”

Louis makes a face, “I’m not enlisting the help of your disgustingly fit personal trainer boyfriend, who, by the way, did this to me in the first place.”

“Liam didn’t do that.” He says, gesturing to the bit of Louis’s stomach peaking out of his unbuttoned jeans. “If anything you should be losing weight, he’s thrown out everything unhealthy in this place.”

“Yea and replaced it with nasty food I don’t eat!”

Zayn rolls his eyes, “Well then come shopping with us. We’re going to the farmers market tomorrow, you can pick food you’ll actually eat.”

“The farmers market?” Louis asks incredulously. “What has Liam done to you?” He demands. “Next you’ll be going to brunch and taking hikes and whatever else it is that 40 year old married people do.”

“Shut up.” Zayn’s blushing but he’s also smiling a bit like the idea isn’t as unappealing as it ought to be. Because gross. They’re 20. “Just come with us. It’ll be fun.”

***

The farmers market is not what Louis would call fun. For starters its fuck all early in the morning. “Why?” Louis whines. “Why would anyone get up this early on the weekend? Or ever for that matter.”

“It’s ten!” Liam sounds baffle. Which he would, considering he regularly gets up before the sun. He’s a terrible, terrible person and Louis doesn’t understand what Zayn sees in him. Well other than the muscles. Because yea. Those are pretty good.

“Lou’s just cranky when he hasn’t had his morning coffee.”

Liam brightens (there really isn’t anything he likes more than solving a problem) and says, “I’ll go get some. There’s a place further down the road.” Zayn waits until Liam’s just out of sight before hastily pulling out a cigarette and lighting up.