A Christian Romance

Chapter 38 - Compassion and Self-love

A week before the wedding, Debora still didn't have her wedding dress. She wasn't one of those conventional girls who dreamed about their weddings since childhood. All she had the power to imagine was a happy married life with two children. She loathed the wedding veil, the bouquet, the flowery themes! She felt awkward just imagining herself walking down the aisle to Joel with one of those sappy conventional love songs. Fortunately, Joel didn't have any better idea than that, he too was very unconventional. All they wanted was to get married and start their lives together.

They were supposed to drive to Melbourne at the beginning of the week to organize the final details of their wedding that would take place in a venue nearby, but because of Joel and his unfinished business with Adam, they had to postpone that departure. While Debora stayed at home organizing their bags, Joel went out and met with Adam at a coffee shop - all Debora's initiative.

Adam arrived at the location punctually - no one could criticize him for his punctuality. Even though it was spring, the mornings were still a little cold, and that year was abnormally colder. Cuddling in his jacket, he looked around in a search for Joel. Nothing. He finally decided to wait in the warmth of the coffee shop. There was no trace of his mate in the shop either. He walked to the counter on the other end of the shop and ordered a latte.

"Thanks." He received his latte.

"If you want to, I can take that to your table." The waitress offered nicely.

"I'm alright. Thank you." Adam replied, uninvitingly. With all he had been through with women, he began to loath all of them.

His stubbornness made him spill some latte onto the counter. "Oh, I'm sorry." He replied, quickly grabbing a napkin to clean up the mess.

In that instant, Joel entered through the coffee shop door and saw Adam standing at the counter. He hesitated but eventually walked his way to the counter and stood next to his former mate, who had noticed him but was speechless.

"Good morning," Joel smiled, assuming that he had to deal with Adam right after the waitress was gone to prepare his drink. "I'd like to have a chamomile tea, please!" He ordered.

"Right away." The waitress took note and left to prepare his drink.

Joel didn't know how to start the conversation with his mate. He could barely look at him!

"Hi, Adam!" He began the dialogue, keeping an eye on the cup of tea that had arrived.

Adam turned his head to him, said a curt hi, and turned his attention to his latte. He had put his walls up to deal with Joel.

"How are you doing?" Joel insisted.

Adam acted as if he hadn't heard the question. But why would he reply anyway? The circumstances haven't been favorable to him. And Joel who was his best friend should be able to read the unhappiness in his face.

Predicting that Adam would leave once his latte was finished, Joel finally decided to go straight to the point. He swallowed his pride, and opened his mouth:

"I'm sorry."

Adam heard him but assumed that Joel was talking to the waitress.

"Ade," Joel touched Adam's elbow after waiting long enough for a reply that didn't come.

Adam looked at his hand touching him, and then at his eyes, instinctively.

"I'm sorry," Joel repeated, with the same intention.

"Sorry for what?" There was a hint of resentment in Adam's voice.

"That I didn't love you unconditionally, that I wasn't compassionate enough to accept your mistakes, your struggles." He was embarrassed, but he needed to confess all of that. "I wasn't a good friend; you might have failed, but I failed too."