A Christian Romance

Chapter 16 - Heartbroken

It was nearly midnight, and Debora hadn't yet arrived. Joel was worried that she had fallen into Adam's arms. Her sleeping with his best mate was none of his business and he wasn't jealous whatsoever, but it was bad for her own sake.

He was in a dilemma whether to call, because with all their sexual tension, it was predictable that they had gone all the way. From personal experience, he knew how hard it was to resist the temptation of being one with someone he considered attractive. Joel however had resisted so far because he called on God's supernatural help and wisdom to run before reaching the point of no return. Just like he had a chance of escaping the temptation, Debora was entitled to that as well. Besides, what was the point of calling her like a worried husband or father, if he was none of the above?

He kneeled down to pray, and asked the Holy Spirit to inspire him in his prayer. Silent for a moment, waiting for the right voice to command him, he heard the noise of keys rattling. He was startled. He stood up and rushed to the door. He saw Debora walking into the apartment, there was a look of disappointment on her face.

"Thank God, you're home! Are you alright?" He was relieved.

The frustration had consumed the energy left in her. She walked to the kitchen and helped herself to a glass of water. Joel followed her.

"Debora, are you alright?"

She didn't reply, all she did was groaning as if she was mourning, leaving room for Joel to suspect the worst. He was worried.

"Did you go all the way with him?"

"No." She finally replied. "Fortunately, I didn't." She drank her water and left the glass on the counter.

"Isn't that good? I'm happy for you. You resisted."

"Yeah..." She didn't sound as victorious as she should be.

Joel was a very caring guy, he didn't hesitate to walk closer and put an arm around her. He looked at her compassionately and that reminded her of how miserable Adam's feelings were for her. She convulsed crying, covering her face with shame.

He gave her time.

"Wanna talk?" He suggested.

"Are you sure you wanna put up with my dramas?" She underestimated his care. "I need to work those out on my own." However, deep down she wanted to talk it out.

"Friends aren't there just for the good times. You can lean on me." He encouraged.

"Can you pray for me, then?" She asked, wiping the tears off her face.

It felt a little awkward at first, but he fought his own reasoning and prayed for her emotional healing and that God would find her a man that could love her as much as Christ loved the Church, giving his life for her.

To be in such a vulnerable position was hard on Debora! She always kept a tough posture, but unfortunately trying to hold onto Adam was just putting herself in a self-pitying position more than anything else. She walked away from Joel to clean her runny nose.

She hated herself while looking in the mirror, but every time she looked away, all she could think of was Adam. She couldn't understand why her gut kept telling her to wait for him. When she returned to the kitchen and saw Joel drinking his glass of water, she felt grateful for such a friend and that cheered her up a bit.

"Joel!"

Her voice distracted him from his empty thoughts and he looked at her.

"Yes?"

"You know, I'm just..." She was really embarrassed and hesitant. "I'm normally not so weak." She explained, whereas he simply observed her. "It's just that I keep going back to Adam and..."

"Hey, what happened earlier with him?" He was spontaneously curious.

Debora came to the kitchen counter and leaned onto it, next to Joel. She wobbled nervously, looking at the floor, her arms locked on her chest, and started her narration:

"I've seen some nice sides of Adam in the beginning, that's why I fell for him so quickly, I guess." There was a disappointed look on her face. "I've never felt like that about anyone before. Such chemistry, such connection, you know?"

Joel simply looked at her.

"I guess I'm just waiting to see those again." She continued. "But he's changed."

"But what happened today?" He was curious. "Were you intimate?"

"Yeah, we were. At the brink of reaching the point of no return." She replied. "I've been rummaging through his actions over the past months and how intense he is when we are physical. All that feels like he is holding something back, I don't know." She paused, circumventing Joel's question once again. "I feel that he likes me too, you know? But for some reason, he's just keeping that to himself."

"Okay. So, that happened today...?" Joel was confused. "I lost you really."

Debora decided to narrate the whole situation, details and everything. So as she started, it was as if her mind had brought her back to Adam's cabin that night. He had decorated the place beautifully with candles for light, and a beautiful table with dinner and wine for them. The sound of the rain outside made the ambiance even more cozier. It was good to be around Adam, share flirtatious glances, smiles and talk about silly mundane topics. Dinner had been prepared by him, and it tasted delicious, but neither of them had real appetite for food.

"And when we were making out, I asked him if we shouldn't be married first to do whatever we were intending to do next." She started fidgeting. "He replied that there was no need for marriage since we both knew what we wanted."

Joel wanted to pay as much attention as possible, but the truth is that all those useless details that she added to the narration made it difficult.

"So you made out with him and asked about commitment?" He wanted to make sure he followed.

"Yeah."

"And then? Can you go straight to the point, I'm really tired." He conveyed.

"Sorry, you're right." She apologized. "Well, so... I asked him if he was taking advantage of me, of my feelings, and his reply was that no one was forcing anyone to do anything; that two people who are attracted to each other should do something about it with no remorse or shame. Sex is part of nature, he said. Having sex doesn't mean we have to stay together for life."

Joel was slow to realize the effects of things, especially when tired as he was, but he reacted, for her sake.

"You know what, Debora? That doesn't define your worth." He smiled comprehensively. "I'm really tired. I need to turn in. Do you mind?"

"Sure."

He walked up to her and gave her a kiss on her forehead, smiled comprehensively and walked away.