Red; Blood and Love | Dazai X Reader

Momentary Joy

On passes three days, and with the sun beating down, Dazai found himself sitting on the top of a cement wall seated far away from the sand. The water reflected the glimmering light of the sun, about noon where it sat highest in the sky, inflicting unpleasant heat on the surrounding area.

Dazai tugged at his tank, trying to fan himself as his bandages began sticking to him uncomfortably. He hated the beach, more so hated the uncomfortable windless heat like this. Why had they dragged him to the beach? No, how had they managed to drag him from bed today? With his arms crossed and eyes set in glares, he refused to step down from the wall to join the Agency. Everybody was out playing, Ranpo building sand-castles. Atsushi, Kyouka, and Y/n out chasing each other along the water's edge, passing a ball to each other and laughing. Yosano sat under an umbrella, mostly relaxing, while occasionally glancing up to see if anybody was injured. Kunikida was reading a book laying out on a towel. Even Kenji seemed to be enjoying himself, building sandcastles and searching for little creatures in the tidepools. Everyone but Dazai was enjoying themselves. Hell, he'd rather go to a museum and be bored to death than be here.

It wasn't long before the three who were chasing each other around with the ball came up to him. "Dazai-Kun come on, stop sulking around!" Their smile brightened his gloomy appearance slightly. Still, he didn't budge, glaring at the sand covering their clothes.

"Not happening, I hate sand." Dazai puffed his cheeks out, playfully hissing at the ex-assassin.

"You're so grumpy today! I'll pull your stick limbs down!" The two friends of the child watched the interaction carefully. It had long since been found that these two had something special between them. Dazai glared when they grabbed his arms and tugged him down.

"No, no no! It'll get all in the bandages Y/n-san! Whyyyyy!" Dazai fell face forward on the sand with Y/n jumping back to not also fall down. Dazai shot up, crossing his arms. He grabbed a fistful of the grains and shot it towards them. "Evil! You're so cruel Y/n-san! I'm covered in it now!" Dazai whined as giggles escaped the young person's lips. Tapping his head as they bolted.

"Come on Atsushi, Kyouka! Let's run before he recovers enough to launch an attack!" They took off running, followed by two apologetic-looking friends. Dazai softened his expression, smiling before scrunching his face up and spitting sand out while shaking his arms.

He stood and went chasing after the three immediately after clearing the sand to the best of his ability. "You two run into the water! I'm going to run onto the rocks!" Smiling Y/n shouted to the two who nodded, splitting away from them to the ocean, up to their knees.

Noticing this, Dazai stopped, his eyes hunting for the third person in the group. Finding the sight of them climbing along the rocks, expertly sticking to the smallest holds, he sighed and ran over. He knew what they were going to do. Running over, he stopped at the base of the rock formation, staring up at them. The wind ruffled their clothes, and the sunlight glittered against their skin. Their head turned towards him with a bright smile. "I really like this version of Dazai! I love it more than the old one! I'm sure the present me would say the same thing!" Dazai's chest fluttered, opening his arms, waiting for them. Their smile was the brightest light on that beach. The genuine happiness and joy glittering in their eyes was something he'd thought he'd never witness on the face of the mafia member at this age. They looked down, jumping directly into his arms, letting him spin them within his hold until the momentum slowed and their feet landed on the sand, their eyes batting with their hands pressed to their chest.

"You know, you're such a handful" Dazai grumbled, letting go of them as he sighed and looked up to the sky.

"How am I the handful?! You're the stubborn idiot who refuses to admit how much he loves the beach!"

"Wha! I said it a hundred times already! I don't like the beach! It-" He was cut off by the younger of the two finishing his sentence.

"It makes you uncomfortable. Sand gets everywhere, and you have to go through the trouble of actually taking a genuine bath and not just plopping soap on your head!" Dazai put a hand on his chest, lowering his gaze as if he were offended.

"I do not just plop soap onto my head!"

"Uh-huh, sure you don't, Dazai." They smiled, leaning up to pat the brunette on the head, before joining Atsushi and Kyouka in the water. Dazai glanced at his hands, smiling as he stared. He hadn't held them like that, not while they were that joyful, not in a while.

The setting sun pooled down with oranges over the beach, each member of the agency slowly trickling out until it was just the two of them left on the beach. Dazai glanced over watching as Y/n stared out into the ocean. Eyes full of wonder, reflecting the last embers of the daylight. "I truly love the beach, it's where all our happiest moments happen. We could always smile, the two of us when we were around the water. Far from the black Mafia towers." Dazai nodded, taking a seat next to them.

"I remember how I used to start purposely dropping from the bridges, and how you always grabbed my collar. At first, it was aggressive, you'd shove me to the floor. Slowly, those movements got softer, with more care." Dazai stared out into the water, letting it come up and touch the tips of his toes as the tide began rolling in.

"Back then, you're younger self, why did he become so cruel?" Their eyes were slowly starting to dull over again. The hand that had been laying on the sand came to hold their knees to their chest.

"I won't lie, I didn't have a reason. I was possessive and harsh. I never saw anything wrong with it... honestly... If Oda hadn't opened my eyes to how I acted and what I'd become, I'd be here without regrets about how we ended."

"But you regret it?"

"Regret making you afraid of me?"

"Do you?"

"I don't know what regret is Y/n... but it does hurt. Recalling the days where I lashed out over stupid or trivial things, my chest weighs heavier and I don't want to get up from bed."

"I meant what I said... I'm glad you changed. I missed seeing that small ounce of light in your eyes, Osamu."

"Mmm, I missed seeing your smile. Come on, let's stop being so sappy! To the Lupin we go!" Dazai stood up, he typically avoided talks that got into feelings. He was still convinced he didn't deserve to trouble somebody with what weighed his mind down, nor was he too sure he knew what feeling was supposed to be like.

"Alright!" their hand grabbed his, letting him pull them to their feet.