Letting Go

I sighed as I felt the cold wind blew against my skin. I, again, scanned my surroundings. I have only been here twice but it felt the same.

It was still peaceful and quiet. So serene.

A place where I wanted to be at the moment.

I first knew this place when I was nine. My parents had brought me here along with their friends to celebrate their reunion. This place was full of foods, laughters and smiles, and lights coming from the skyscrapers and from the bonfire they've made before it went dark.

The second time I went here was a year ago. With the person I loved... and still love.

I suddenly felt the ache in my heart again. It felt like I have been stabbed a million times it hurts like hell. I clenched my hand into fist as I pressed it over my chest, shutting my eyes as I felt the hot liquid slide through my cheeks. I let myself cry, again. It seems like I cannot stop crying even for an hour or so. It's been a month.

I feel so helpless.

How could I let that happen? How could I let him break the walls that I had built for so long? I had built it to protect myself, to prevent myself from getting hurt. But I guess it wasn't strong enough, opposite of what I have always thought. It's now broken and shattered into pieces letting the hurt and pain come to me.

How could I let myself fall inlove with him even though I knew it wouldn't last?

Maybe because I'm that stupid. Letting my heart alone to decide.

I stood up from the bench I was sitting on and closed my eyes, giving myself some more time to clear my head.

I thought of how can I forget, of how can I move on. I thought of how difficult it would be yet as time goes by I would probably heal. I thought of how I would be after this. I would be happy again. I wouldn't worry like I used to, wouldn't be hurt like I am now.

But at the very back of my mind, he was there. All the memories that I had with him.

I opened my eyes forcefully, making me feel dizzy, as I felt my eyes begin to water. I feel exhausted. My eyes swell from all the crying, my head aches and my breathing's heavy. I suddenly felt angry. Angry at myself.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" I screamed in frustration. I have to stop whatever I am doing if I wanted my life back. My life before him. I need to stop.

Feeling weak, I hunched my back, bowed my head and hands on my knees. I took deep breaths to calm myself down. When I felt better, I stood properly, eyeing things in no particular.

Minutes after, I have decided to go home. I picked up my things and I was ready to go... until I saw him standing in front of me, a couple of meters away.

I stood on my feet, frozen.

"Lia..."

I stared right through his dark brown eyes as I felt my tears frightening to fall once again.

*****

A/N: This is only the part wherein it's pure english. Taglish na po ang mga susunod. 'Di carry ng powers ko. Sinubukan ko naman hanggang... Chapter 1 pero waley. Wahahaha!

But I still hope you'll like my work. :)

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