Beaming Love

Our Plan

I walk around the office, carefully reading all the plaques surrounding Brad and I thinking about how I really feel with this process officially starting. It terrified me to no end, the thought of injecting myself with so many medications and hormones just for the tiniest hope of a baby, but brings me so much joy at the same time knowing we could be growing our family soon.

"I just still don't understand how you go pregnant with Sienna so easily, we weren't even trying and it just happened. We weren't even really ready..."

"I guess it's just hormone changes, maybe because I went on birth control... I had never been on that kind before. I should have looked into it more."

"No. You did look into it. You even asked me about it, you did what was needed at the time. We could have never handled another Sienna years ago. I still worry about having to keep up with two of her."

I sit back down once our doctor walks in introducing herself so we can get the conversation started.

Brad reaches his hand over for mine, resting them on my lap as we carefully listen to everything being said.

"... given your current health and age, I think starting out with the injections is the best way to go for now. We can always look into more invasive processes in the future if needed, but many times your body just needs a jump start to prepare for a baby."

"Is there any reason you know of that is causing these struggles? I got pregnant by accident with our daughter. One careless night and this time we've tried for almost a year without anything. Could the birth control I was on have caused it?"

"It's possible, any hormone changes can cause long term impacts to your body, but I always like to tell my patients that it doesn't add up to that right away. Sometimes your body just naturally goes through some changes, sometimes it's stress, sometimes it's your bodies way of asking you to take a minute to breathe. Women put so much stress on their bodies unintentionally and don't realize the impacts. I've seen your ultrasounds and tests, Jennifer. Your body is perfectly healthy and capable of carrying another baby. It just needs a boost."

"And these injections..." Brad looks on just as terrified as I am, "Will they harm her at all? I know everyone reacts differently, but without knowing too much about their long term impacts is this the right decision?"

"From my experience, the biggest reaction women have is hormone changes until their body adjusts. Basically, it could be hard to control emotions, maybe some extra tears or anger at times but it really should not be a major change. And that's why I like to go over this with a support person, because you're often the first to notice any major changes that I need to be alerted to."

"And the smaller reactions?"

"There's the slight chance of blood clots or allergic reac-"

"Woah, woah blood clots? You're saying my wife could die?"

"Not nece-"

"No... Jen you can't do something like that... not something dangerous. We can think of something else."

I try not to laugh, knowing deep down he cares and that's why he's reacting like he is, but seeing the look on his face is hysterical.

"Babe would you rather they put me through a bunch of procedures? I'll be sore for weeks."

"... so how soon after the injections start are we good to have sex?"

"We encourage it as soon as Jennifer feels comfortable. Obviously around ovulation time is still a main priority, but with all the stress of infertility, a great sex life can make a huge difference."