Beaming Love

Things Aren't The Same

"I'm worried it's going to hurt too much.  What if I can't handle it?"

I slowly listen in on Lisa and Court's conversation as I walk up with my lunch.

"You'll be fine.  They have really good drugs for that.  Jen made it."

I walk in, sitting across from them as they look over at me excitedly.

"We have questions for you."

"Uhh okay?  Questions about what?"

"Well, I have no idea what to expect with pregnancy and birth and all that, so you're the one that's going to answer all my questions."

"And I have some questions of my own."

"Well this should be good." I take a drink looking across at them "I'm gonna be honest, these answers aren't going to be fun."

"I need the truth."

"I wanna start!" Court gets way too excited "Was sex weird while you were pregnant."

"Jesus.  We're jumping into it quick.  I think we were more careful at first because Brad kept saying he was worried he'd feel the baby, but after a while it just became normal until I got huge and it was annoying."

"Did your boobs really get in the way?  I know they got bigger with breastfeeding but were they annoying before that too?"

"They felt huge and heavy.  Kinda felt the same as my belly.  Brad really liked them.  Once you start breastfeeding they're big but they just constantly leak milk so they're no fun."

"What about the birth?  How gross is it really?  Did it freak out Brad?"

"Well he helped deliver her, so..."

"Wait," Court seems shocked "I know you said he was involved but he was actually right there?  Like watching everything up close?  Wasn't it gross?"

"I don't know I wasn't exactly in a position to watch what was happening to me."

"But like what exactly happens?  I know the baby comes out and all but is it bad?  Do things... stretch?  All the blood?"

"It's not exactly pretty.  I mean it burns like hell and a lot of shit happens to you.  I felt like someone was reaching in and ripping my vagina in half."

"They went up there?"

"Yeah they kinda have to, to check things.  I had a whole hand shoved up me."

"Man good luck, Lisa.  You're going to be fine."

"Ho-how was the pain?  How bad?"

"My contractions weren't bad at first.  I didn't even know I was in labor.  Only started getting bad when Jane pulled into the hospital, and even then they still weren't very bad.  But I went from no pain to having to push within a few minutes.  It was very intense and excruciating."

"And she just like came out when you pushed, right?"

"There was a lot of very hard pushing.  Brad and Jane were a big help though.  She was encouraging me when all Brad could talk about was what Sienna looked like as I was pushing."

"He was commenting? And Jane was there?  As you were ripped apart?"

"She stayed at my head holding my hand.  I asked her to stay when everything happened so fast."

"Did Brad tell you what it looked like?  Like as she was coming out?  Does he remember."

"He says he tries blocking out the crowning because apparently that looked like my vagina was going to explode.  But he said the rest was kinda cool."