I want to dedicate this chapter to @Johnlock7wholock. Thank you :)
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Fifth Chapter
I can’t stop thinking about her. I know, she didn’t mean that, but it really hurts. I want to be here for her. Every second of her life, I want to stand next to her. How can I fall asleep now?
I didn’t sleep that night. I went to kitchen at about six a.m. and I started to make breakfast. I put some eggs on the pan and I made toasts. I arranged it on plate. I made tea. Fred woke up so he woke Ellie too, if she slept. She went to bathroom and then she came with Fred. She sat on chair and she stared on me. She didn’t say anything. I sat to the table and I started eating.
“Thank you for the breakfast, Hardy.” Said Ellie and continued with staring.
“Don’t have to, Miller.”
ELLIE
I don’t know what to say. My head is functionless. I didn’t sleep for the rest of night. I was scared of screaming again. When Hardy came to my bedroom I felt really stupid.
“How did you sleep?”
“I didn’t sleep.” Said Hardy a he glared into his plate.
“Why?”
“I was thinking.” He said.
“Because of me?” I asked stupidly.
“Yes. Our conversation hurt me.”
“I’m so sorry, Hardy. I didn’t mean that, but when you ran into my room like that, I felt stupid, that I can’t take care of myself.”
“Everyone has got sometimes nightmares. You know, that I have them almost every night.” He touched my shoulder.
“But you aren’t screaming that the whole town can hear you!” I turned my eyes away, because I realized, that I am staring at him. I picked a spoon with yoghurt for Fred. As I expected, he wanted to eat it by himself. So I took a bowl and I poured yoghurt in it. I gave it to him, but I knew that I will have to clean the whole kitchen.
“It’s going to be alright, don’t worry.” Said Hardy and he touched my hand. Gently.
“It’s getting worse, Hardy.”
“Everything’s gonna be alright.” He said and he looked at me with his puppy look.
“I’m feeling like if everything was falling at me. There are new and new problems.”
“We will figure it out. Together.” Hardy smiled.
“Are we going to go to court today?”
“Yes. I think we should.” Said Hardy
“Let’s go, then.” I looked to Hardy and exactly in that moment, a spoon of yoghurt ended up on Hardy’s head. I started to giggle.
“Fred! Apologize to Uncle Alec!” I shouted to Fred
“I’m sorry, uncle.” I had to smile.
“It doesn’t matter, Freddy.” Hardy cleaned himself with a tissue.
I like it this way. Just me, Fred and Alec. Eventually Tom. It looks, that Fred likes Hardy and Hardy likes Fred.
I ate last bite of food. I wore my everyday clothes and my orange jacket. I really need a new one. I dressed Fred up and I packed his things.
I picked Fred to my arms and I went downstairs. Hardy was waiting here yet. We take Fred, one hand each and we went to my car. I put Fred into his seat and I drove to court. Hardy was talking to me about my driving skills all the time. I wanted to punch him in his fucking face. But I haven’t energy to argue with him. Not after the night. We put Fred into kindergarten and I drove to Wessex crown court. I paid for parking. Luckily, we weren’t late. We went to court. They checked our bags and I walked next to Lucy, which was standing near with Olly.
“Hi, Ell.”
“Hi.” I said.
“I heard that Hardy is alive.” Said Lucy and smiled.
“Yes. Luckily, yes.”
“Tom told me about your nightmares.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said.
“If you need to talk about it, just call me.”
“I don’t need anyone’s help!” I shouted.
“Calm down, Ellie.” Hardy touched my shoulder, Lucy looked very surprised. I didn’t say anything and we went to court one. I sat next to Alec.
There happened nothing important in court.
I’m so nervous, because Hardy will get his pacemaker tomorrow. I worry more than him. I don’t know what I would do without him. I would stay alone with wee baby that would remind him to me every day.
We had dinner and I went to my bedroom, because Fred wanted to sleep. I sat on my bed and Alec came.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.” He sat next to me.
“I’m scared.” Said Hardy and I was sorry about him.
“As you said me in the morning, we can do it, together.” I said. Hardy caressed my hair.
“So let’s hope, that I was right.” Said Alec and smiled on me.
“I’ll keep the baby, Hardy.”
“Can I hug you?” asked Hardy.
“Yes, but only today.” Nobody hugged me for a long time.
Hardy hugged me with his long arms. He started to caress my back. It was just beautiful feeling.
