Eyes Closed in the Fall (Trip & Fall Series #1)

Chapter 25 (Part I)

Chapter 25: Love is Hard (Part I)

The window was clouded with a placid, slow-moving fog. However vague, the image of what was settled ahead was clear at the back of my mind.

It used to be a  garden loaded with herbs, vegetables, and small sorts of fruits. As a four year old kid, I thought I was helping Aling Flor sow the seeds beneath and maintain the vegetation. In reality, I was just mindlessly tossing those seeds around and playing with dirt. Pero imbes na pigilan ako'y hahayaan niya lang akong gawin 'yon, imbes na pagalitan ako'y tatawa lang siya.

I was only a child, the emotions I felt were determined by those around me, hence I laughed along.

Sa parehong dahilan na bata pa ko'y mapapansin ko kalaunan na wala pa si Mommy- wala na naman siya. I would feel upset, as I wanted to elicit a chuckle from her as well. Gusto kong maging masaya kasama siya.

Because to be happy without her was simply unfair.

"Unfair, Aling Flor..."

Bumuntong hininga si Aling Flor. "Nasa trabaho pa ang Mommy mo, Amellia..."

"When will she be home then? Mommy is barely home..."

Our kitchen was the direct route leading to the backyard. I instantaneously whipped my head around upon hearing the back door open. Ang malalim na simangot sa mukha ko'y napalitan ng napakalaking ngiti nang nakita ang taong hinahanap-hanap ko. She was wearing her light blue scrub suit. Her eyes wandered for a few seconds, and by the time she was done untying her ponytail, her gaze stopped at us.

Tumayo ako at tumakbo papunta sa kanya. "Mommy!"

Aling Flor was hot on her heels, hinawakan niya ang likurang bahagi ng damit ko nang muntik na 'kong madapa. My mind was only set on reaching my mother, agad din akong humiwalay kay Aling Flor at nagpatuloy sa nakaraan kong aksyon. Fortunately, I didn't trip that time.

"Mommy! I missed you, Mommy!" I stretched my arms open, wanting to engulf her into a hug, but just when I was only a foot away from her, she grimaced and took a step back. Kasabay nang pagbagsak ng ekspresyon ko ay ang kirot sa dibdib ko.

She dropped her head down, intrusively wiping at the diminutive stain my hand etched on her clothing. Taking notice of the tense atmosphere, Aling Flor cleared her throat. Mommy's fingers gave off a jerk, as if she still wanted to presume with her previous action but was forced to halt.

She sized me up and down. I pinched my lips together and squeezed a portion of my attire, feeling conscious all of a sudden.

"Aling Flor, paki linisan na po si Amellia," aniya. "May dala akong fast food. Kumain na tapos kayo."

"Mommy won't eat with us?" I asked timidly.

"Busog pa ako." Tumalikod siya, tumapak ng isang hakbang, at tinagilid nang bahagya ang mukha. "Amellia."

Just one acknowledgement of my name was enough for me to regain the excitement I felt upon seeing her earlier. "Mommy..."

Something flashed across her eyes, pero hindi ko malaman kung ano 'yon. Hiniwalay niya ang tingin niya, mumbling a quiet 'nevermind' before walking away.

"Amellia..." tawag ni Aling Flor. She clasped my hand around hers. "Hugas na tayo kamay?"

Tumango ako at hinayaan siyang i-direkta ako sa may lababo. Hindi ko pa halos maabot no'n ang hugasan, kung wala akong silyang tutungtungan ay kakailanganain ko pang tumingkayad. After ensuring that I was comfortable with my position, Aling Flor turned the faucet on, pressed the handle of the liquid soap, and started scrubbing my hands until it was clean.