And If I Fall, Let Me Part II: After The Rain - A. Hotchner x OC & Jemily

And I cannot get you out

"Often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." Helen Keller

Hotch felt the worry slowly leave his body. He had been informed Alex and Emily were fine, despite the latter being in the ambulance right now. Just a graze, Reid had said, having gotten the confirmation from JJ two minutes ago. Morgan had secured Jenny and her father, both looking positively shaken, sitting in two separate cars. He had called Detective Johnson to inform him, who had been less than thrilled to have another crime scene to write a report about tonight. Better than another dead body.

Exhaling, Hotch turned to walk over to the ambulance. When he arrived next to JJ, he quickly realized someone was missing.

"Emily will be okay?" he asked first, looking down at the composed blonde next to him. JJ nodded, her trembling hands the only evidence she had been scared for her the other woman.

"They're stitching her up, and she's already complaining about how she doesn't like this particular antibiotic. So yeah," JJ laughed shakily, looking up at him.

"Sounds like her," he gave back, squeezing her shoulder. "Where's Alex?"

Something like hesitation flickered over JJ's face before she gestured towards the car in the distance.
"JJ, what is it?"

His agent cleared her throat. "She didn't take it too well, I think. Said she needed a minute."

Breathing out slowly, Hotch nodded. He thanked her and made his way over. Before he even rounded the car, he could hear her sobs, and his heart tightened. Moving around it, he found her leaning against the car, blood on her white blouse, trying, and failing to take deep breaths.

"Alex," he said, hearing his own voice break a little, "Are you...What can I do?"

The blonde turned from staring into the stars to him, her lip quivering. She only shook her head, without giving him an answer. With two strides, he was with her, pulling her into his arms slowly. She fell against him, the sobs shaking her body.

"Shhhh, it's alright, you're okay, we're safe," he mumbled against her hair. With slow movements, he opened her vest in the back, then his own. Holding her up, Hotch pulled them down one after the other, until all he could feel was her body against his. Her hands clamped his shirt in the back. For a full minute, Alex kept her head buried her head against his chest. Hotch gently stroked her hair, until she was calm enough to speak. Slowly, Alex pulled her head back, looking up into his eyes.

"How do you do it, Aaron?" she whispered, genuine desperation on her face. "I was so worried when I heard that shot, so worried for Emily. The last case with Foreman, it was JJ. And now...I know all of you so much better, it's just so much."

Hotch wiped a tear from her face and cupped her cheek. "I worry all the time. I worried about you when I heard you went after Foreman, and just ten minutes ago, too. Or for Emily, and JJ."

Alex nodded, inhaling deeply. "I don't want to lose any of you. My team...it's never so exposed. It's just different."

Pressing a kiss against her temple, Hotch nodded. "They don't want to lose you either. I don't want to lose you."

A shuddering breath left her and he could feel her pulling away slowly. He let her. Alex moved out of his embrace and took a couple of steps forward. "It never gets any better, right?" she mumbled, her back to him.
"No. No, it doesn't," was the only honest answer he could give her. "But you do get better at working with it."

Alex nodded slowly before she turned back to him. When he saw the defeat on her face, a sinking feeling made its way into her stomach. "I need...I need a bit of time."