And If I Fall, Let Me Part II: After The Rain - A. Hotchner x OC & Jemily

Letting go, finding ourselves

"Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real."  Iris Murdoch

He knew the dreams well. Too well. He knew where it would inevitably stop, where it would end. It would end with him being too late. It didn't matter for what, or who was going to pay for his mistakes because someone would. And it would be on him, Aaron Hotchner. Tonight, he was in front of his house, where it always started. He felt his body tense, his mind getting ready to face what was inside. Instead of going on, something stopped him. Hotch wasn't usually aware of his surroundings or his bedroom when he dreamt. But when he wanted to take a step, he heard a whisper of his name that made him halt. Feeling himself blinking, he realized he had been mumbling in his sleep. The sight of his house vanished and Hotch slowly became aware of the bed.

"It's okay," a female voice mumbled, and he felt a soothing hand running through his hair. Alex. Keeping his eyes closed, he breathed in, his face resting on the soft fabric of her shirt.

"You don't have to wake up yet," she said. Alex started drawing lazy circles on his back. Understanding where and how he was laying on her, he gave out a small noise that made her chuckle. Hotch blinked a few times and lifted his head from her stomach to search for her face.

"Hey you," Alex smiled, her hand resting on his back, "You had a nightmare."

Even in the half-dark, he could see her wearing the face of someone who knew how it felt. He didn't have to explain anything, Hotch realized.

"Why are you awake?" he muttered, letting himself rest on her again. Alex's fingers started moving again. A shiver ran over him and he sighed appreciatively.

"Adrenalin probably. So I took the time to educate myself about the French Revolution. God bless the Discovery Channel."

Humming, Hotch closed his eyes.

"Go back to sleep, Aaron," Alex said with a softness in her voice that made it impossible to consider anything else.

"You should, too," he gave back. A low chuckle was his answer.

"After this piece on the Mariana Trench."

Hotch let his hand wander over some of the exposed skin of her stomach until he found the scar that ran over a part of it. Letting his thumb run over it, he felt Alex sigh deeply. Almost half asleep again, he pressed a kiss onto it.

"Perceptive even when you're half asleep," Alex said half-jokingly without masking the pain in her voice. He gave her a not so convinced noise. With a sigh, he pulled down her shirt and let his hand rest over it.

"You make the bad days and night so much easier," he mumbled, "And I want to do the same for you."

Hotch heard the smile in her voice when Alex reached down and pressed a kiss onto his head. "You already do."

He let out another muffled sigh. His head positively empty, he slipped back into sleep.

The next time he was awake, Alex was the one splayed over him. Her head in the crook of his neck, her legs tangled with his, she made an unappreciative noise when someone knocked on the door.

"Hotch, JJ got us an earlier flight," he heard Morgan's voice outside, "If we can leave in thirty minutes."

Trying his best not to yell into Alex's ear, he cleared his throat. "I will be there."

The blonde rolled onto her back and opened her eyes, letting out a quiet groan. Hotch leaned over and pressed a kiss onto her cheek.

"Have you seen Evans? She isn't answering her door," Morgan's voice sounded through the room again. Unable to suppress a big grin, he raised his eyebrows at her. She squinted her eyes at him for a second until she realized he wasn't going to answer that question.
"You don't care they're gonna know? Complicated things and all?" Alex whispered.