It's Ok To Be Yourself

8

"Damn it" my sister muttered, "You got a partner before me" I rolled my eyes at her but Toby let out a soft chuckle, I felt his body relax slightly but everytime my sister moved he would tense up and stay alert as if he was about to run if my sister got too close to him.

"Yo dude calm down..." I muttered to him quietly. He looked at me with a sorry look and tried his best to relax. I let out an audible sigh and put my arm around his shoulders.

"You make me feel single bro" My sister said jokingly, I rolled my eyes at her.

I heard Toby mutter under his breath saying, "You are single" I let out a laugh that made me get elbowed in my ribs by the younger male next to me.

My sisters phone pinged and I saw her face light up, "I got to go my friend needs to talk to me."  Me and Toby looked at each other then back at Lola. We watched as she got up and left. I felt toby relax copletelty letting out a small sigh. I kissed his head and hugged him tightly, "She would never hurt you..." I told him assuringly, he just noded his head and rested his hand on my chest.

Later that day me and Luke managed to find motivation to get dressed, I walked into the kitchen and I was the first one dressed, I grabbed a glass filling it up with water, I turned around to see Luke standing there, "Hello beautiful" I flinched almost dropping my glass.

"LUKE!" I yelled at him, he let out a small laugh and gently picked me up putting me on the side. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm sorry" He told me taking the glass of water and putting it next to me, he leaned in to kiss me; at first I tried to push him away but gave in and let him kiss me. I felt him smile against my lips as I kissed back which caused me to roll my eyes at him again.

He eventually pulled away, "you're an idiot" I told him.

"I know I am" He replied sheepishly.

I wrapped my limbs around him, "No" I said sternly causing him to laugh. I rested my chin gently on his chest and looked at him, he played with my hair. I smiled weakly and looked over his shoulder. I started to zone out and I knew Luke could tell, I heard him sigh softly and hug me which caused me to flinch.

I never usually flinched at his hugs since I knew it was him but that hug felt different. Strange. Odd. Familiar. It was like a hug my mother used to give me as a child.

A small gasp left my mouth as I felt cold hands on my back bringing me back to reality, "Oh my god! Your hands are cold- Why are they so cold?" I asked with a voice crack.

Luke let out a soft giggle, "They wont be if you let me keep them where they are" He said slyly.

"But they're cold" I whined.

He rolled his eyes and moved his hands, I took both of his hands in mine and kept them warm the best I could, we were both standing there, smiling, like the pair of idiots we are. The silence was broke by an alarm, Luke's alarm.

I watched as he pulled out his phone, he shook his head at himself and laughed, "I was meant to put my alarm on at 7 this morning but forgot to change the PM to AM" I let out a small laugh until I realised how 'late' it was.

"Wait it's 7o'clock?"

"Ye?" Luke said unsurely.

"Already?! Blimey time goes by quick" Luke nodded his head in agreement.

We went into the living room and sat on the couch, Luke gently pulled me on to his lap wrapping his arms around me to keep me warm. I looked at him and smiled, he gave me a light kiss before ordering pizza. We watched films whilst we waited for the food to arrive.

I got sleepy and I moved from Luke's lap into the armchair and curled up. The sound of knocking made me stir, I looked up to see Luke grab the door then I lay my head back down.

There was a knock at the door and Toby was still asleep sort of, I took the pizza and paid the guy closing the door after him in his face, I went back into the kitchen and as much as I hated it I had to wake up my small, cute boyfriend.

"Toby wake up..." I whispered down his ear with my hand on his shoulder giving him a small kiss on the head.

"Hm..?" He hummed.

"Dinner's here"

"Ok.." He mumbled softly yawning soon after.

We sat down and ate the pizza in a comfortable silence. It didn't take us long to finish the food, Toby ended up just putting some of my clothes on and sitting on my lap with his limbs wrapped around me.

"You ok...?" I aksed him worridly.

He nodded his head, "I'm just tired.."

I hummed, "I'd be tired too if I had to deal with multiple panic attacks daily.." Toby looked up at me, "If I were you I'd start going to therapy... I don't want you to do things to yourself that will harm you..."

I looked down after I heard Luke's sentence, "Baby..?" He asked, I could hear the nerves in his voice, "Have you..?" I knew what he meant. I nodded my head.

"It was some time ago, I don't do it anymore.." I lied.

"Show me"

"What?"

"If you don't do it anymore then show me"

I gulped and slowly rolled my sleeves up only showing him the top side of my arms.

"And the other side"

I kept my arms how they were silently refusing to show him the other side of my arms. He grabed my hands and forced me to turn my arms around so the inner side was facing him, I looked away and heard a gasp.