It's Ok To Be Yourself

4

My father agreed to carrying me and gently scooped me up in his strong muscular arms, I wrapped my arms around him so I didn't fall. He walked out to the white Mercades and placed me in the front. He got in himself after going around the car.

"Can we please go to Milkshake Barn?" I pretty much begged my father.

He sighed and looked at me as I gave him my famous puppy eyes which were well known in the family (mainly my father's side).

"Fine, we'll go" I punched the air as I internally screamed 'YES'. He shook his head at me and put his seatbelt on, I followed his lead putting the black seatbelt across me and clasping it in the red claspy thing (or whatever it's called).

He drove along the busy roads of London until we made it to where we were going. We went into the drive threw since I was still tired and sore. My father ordered the milkshakes (banana for him and chocolate for me). As my father drove us back to our mansion we listened to the music and our steady breathing, it was almost silent but it was surprisingly comfortable.

I took a few slirps of my heavenly chocolate milkshake and started scrolling threw instagram, I decided I wanted to restart my account so I logged out and made a new account, one where my mother can't see me. My father was the first person I friended and he didn't add me back until later that night.

I was thankful for everything that had happened that day the only problem was that I had to find a new school which meant finding new friends. I never had real friends in my old school since I was the 'loner' it was sad sometimes but after a while I got used to it. I got bullied a lot because I wasn't 'normal' people called me a 'brat' or 'useless' or 'loner' nothing upset me. It was the truth.

It was the sad truth.

"Alright kiddo eat up" my dad told me as we were sitting at the table opposite each other's. The house was almost silent and I was just eyeing my food as if it had been poisoned, "You don't have to eat it all if you don't want too" he told me. I smiled and nodded my head indicating I understood. I managed to eat at least half of my dinner before getting full.

I took my plate and waddled to the kitchen. My dad smiled and came from behind me picking me up and carrying me to bed like he used to do when I was a child. I looked at him and smiled as he lay me in my bed and kissed me on the head, "Goodnight Toby" I smiled and yawned, "Goodnight Dad".

He left the room closing the door behind him a bed it didn't take long for me to fall asleep after that. In the morning I woke up to the smell of burning. I got out of bed and quickly changed into my uniform, I ran down the stairs and I saw my dad on the phone to my mom. He was yelling and so was she, it wasn't hard to hear their conversation.

"I DON'T CARE! COME HOME THIS INSTANT AND MARLEY IS GROUNDED FOREVER SHE IS A SHE NOT A HE!" I heard from the other side of my dads phone.

"YOU'RE SUCH A HOMOPHOBIC AND TRANSPHOBIC PERSON HENCE THE FACT I AM DIVORCING YOU DON'T CONTACT ME OR MY SON EVER AGAIN AND IF YOU DO I'M CALLING THE POLICE!" My dad yelled in frustration.

I sighed a little knowing that life without a mom wasn't going to be the same but a life without my mom is better than my old life. I looked over to a pan that was sizzling and spitting oil. I went to it and turned off the gas and put the burnt (what I think was) bacon in the bin.

My dad looked at me and smiled sadly, I saw in his eyes that he wasn't ok but his smile told me 'I know you know I'm fake but don't ask' so I didn't ask. I stayed quiet and hugged him.

"You don't have to go to school today you know son" he said loud enough for me to hear but it was still so quiet that not even a mouse could hear it.

"I know I don't... and I might not" I replied looking at my uniform, "I wanna look after you.."

"What about your friends?" He asked sounding slightly curious and guilty that I want to make sure he's ok.

"Don't have any.. plus I need to find a new school so.." I shrugged.

He looked at me in disbelief, I sighed and he hugged me tighter.

"Ow ow ow loosen your grip-" I said pushing back the pain from where I had surgery on my top half. He looked at me sorrily and loosened his grip. I smiled at him and lay my head on his chest.

"Will you find someone new dad..?" I asked sheepishly.

"I don't know is the honest answer kid" I frowned at his response but nodded my head in understanding.

After our calm embrace, I went back up the stairs and got changed into some clothes. I saw an oversized blood red hoodie and I grabbed some black jeans. I pulled on the hoodie and the jeans carefully so I didn't hurt myself.

I was told I could take the bandages off in a few days which is driving me crazy. I'm anxious and excited 'anx-cited' as I would call it.

I walked down the stairs calmer than the first time, I grabbed the TV remote off of the coffee table and turned on the TV. I put 'It' on. It's about that crazy clown that eats kid. I only like it because of the comedy.

I heard my dad rustling about in the kitchen, "what are you doing?" I asked pausing the TV and looking over my shoulder.

No one was there.