It's Ok To Be Yourself

9

"Baby you can't do this..." Luke told me, I avoided eye contact too ashamed to even look at him. He moved my face by the chin so I had to look at him, "promise you won't do it again..?" He asked in hope.

A shaky sigh left my lips, "I..I can't promise anything" I stuttered.

Luke looked at me with sad but understanding eyes, "I'll try to stop.." I mumbled causing him to give me soft smile.

He kissed my lips, "thank you.." he said before reconnecting our lips again, I weakly kissed back not putting much effort into the kiss. Luke gently picked me up and sat me on his lap, he rolled down my sleeves and then looked at me.

He pulled away and without knowing I tried to follow his lips but he stopped me, a small whine left my mouth.

"You can have as many kisses as you want later but for now I'm going to help you bandage your arms.." he told me. I nodded my head and let him take me to the bathroom.

He place me on the counter and held my waist with one hand so I didn't fall, his other hand was in the cupboard looking for bandages. He eventually got some bandages and wrapped my arms up tightly but not to tight. I let out a few hisses of pain causing him to stop a few times.

My arms were bandaged and Luke was upset and trying not to show it, I knew he was upset because I saw the way his eyes dimmed. I felt bad for making him upset and worry.

I decided to go into the kitchen and get him a snack. I made some chocolate covered strawberries earlier so I decided to put them on a plate and some marshmallows, the big fluffy ones.

I went to Luke who was sitting on the couch watching a random TV programme. I sat on his lap and handed him the plate of goodies, he looked up at me, "what's this for?"

"Well.. I know you're upset about my arms so... I made you a plate of goodies..!" I said smiling, "And I felt guilty.." I muttered.

"Toby you don't need to feel guilty I understand but thank you.." he told me. I smiled at him as he kissed my nose. I watched as he ate the goodies I gave him. He offered me a chocolate strawberry but I politely turned it down, he shrugged and ate it.

I stayed in his lap and zoned out, I started thinking about my dad. We always had a strong connection and he was always there for me but now he wasn't. "I'm going to go for a walk.." I stated, Luke looked at me but nodded his head.

I got off of his lap and got my shoes on, I left the house and slowly walked to the place where I met Luke and Max. To my surprise Max was there, I froze and went to turn around and go back to Luke where I was safe.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the gay freak" He started with a smirk, "You ruined my friendship with my best friend and now you're going to pay"

I gulped as he inched closer, I wanted to scream but I couldn't. Next thing I knew, Max's fist had collided with my face. I zoned out, a vision of my mom filled my mind. My dad wasn't there. Luke wasn't there. I was alone. All alone.

More punches came at me and I managed to block a few and get in a few hits. I broke his nose and knocked out a couple of his teeth. Max started to get annoyed and he punched me full force which caused me to pass out.

When I woke up it was dark, I was still by the river and the poppy field. I looked around and I was scared. I was being pathetic for a 15 year old. I shakily called my boyfriend letting out quiet sobs.

"Hello..?" I heard Luke's worried voice.

"P-Please come pick me up.. I'm where we first met.." I stuttered.

"Ok stay where you are baby.." With that he hung up.

Luke grabbed his coat and hurried out the door to get to his lover, when Luke got there he wrapped his arms around a beaten, shaken and fragile body that belonged to his boyfriend.

"Who did this?" He asked.

"M-Max..." Toby answered.

Luke carried me home and took me into the bathroom. He ran me a bath and undressed me slowly lowering me into the bath water. He stayed there and helped wash me, I was able to finally take of the bandages (mainly because I used to be scared of what the scars would look like but I was too tired to care) so we took them off. Luke admired my scars on my chest and gently traced them with his index finger. I smiled weakly at him.

I held his wrist softly causing him to stop, I got out and wrapped a soft, fluffy, white towel around me. Luke got me dry and dressed me, I blushed everytime he stole glances at me, "I have a question" He stated, I looked at him curiously so he continued, "Does your lower half function the same as someone who was born with one?"

I blushed slightly and nodded my head, I watched as a smile grew on Luke's face, "Whatever you're thinking I'm not ready.. Not yet.. maybe in some weeks.." I muttered looking down.

Luke's smile softened, "That's ok baby boy"

I gained butterflies in my stomach from the pet name.

I pulled the plug letting the water get sucked up by the drains and ran into the room with Luke following behind, I climbed onto the bed and under the covers. I waited for Luke whilst he took a shower. I scrolled through Luke's instagram and I knew I was blushing.

Luke walked back in and asked, "What are you looking at?"

I quickly turned off my phone, "Erm.." I tried thinking of an excuse, " Cute cats!" I answered unsurely.