Fragmented Morality

Ch. 7

I found myself waking up confused and feeling as though my body was being weighed down by a tonne of bricks. While, after everything I had gone through over the past couple of days, it was obvious I would feel this way, to say I was expecting it would have been a lie. Having finally fallen out of my drunken stupor, I internally groaned, propping myself into a sitting position. The action caused my head to spin and my shoulders to sag heavily, my head coming to rest in my hands. I felt warm, nauseous, weak, and in pain, but what else was new?

Lifting my head back up, I squinted my eyes to more closely analyse my surroundings. I wanted to say it was morning, but without any way to tell the time, I only had the artificial light to go off of -and that wasn't much. In the room, there wasn't much of anything really. And with nothing else to keep my mind occupied, I found myself swaying slightly where I sat, my vision dazing in and out of focus, groggily.

Somehow, amidst the fog that covered my head, my memories of the previous night came rushing back to me, slamming into my brain like a bulldozer. Each scene worked to clear my mind, making me scrunch up my nose more and more with regret. The more I remembered, the more I wished I hadn't, and the more I felt the day wasn't going to be pleasant in the least. This paired with how much my body lagged from everything it had been through, all I wanted to do was lay back down and forget about everything.

But that wasn't an option.

Right now we didn't have hours to spare, let alone an entire day. And yet, that was exactly what I did. I wasted time. I was so out of it when I first stumbled into the room that I completely failed to notice anything other than the softness of the lounge against my sore body. Somehow, though, with the aching of my muscles, and with full consciousness, it didn't feel anywhere near as soft. Another thing I failed to notice was the mattress on the ground which held the sleeping bodies of my mum and sister -or maybe it just wasn't there previously. Either way, I didn't care.

Taking in the room more closely now, I was able to note just how generic it really was. It was a light cream in colour and that was about it. Of course, there were no windows, the lighting was a painfully dull yellow colour and there was carpet. The only good thing about it was how it was completely safe from the outside world. This knowledge settled as a somewhat comforting thought in my head.

Sadly, the more conscious and in control of my body I became, the more aware I became of the pounding in my head and the stale taste in my mouth. I hated to admit it, but I was sure this was what a hangover looked like, and I was beginning to understand on a more personal level why some people swore off alcohol completely. It was sickening in more ways than one and all I wanted to do was sleep it off. I just wanted to avoid everyone, curl up in the fetal position and sleep until I felt normal again.

Of course, no matter how hard I tried, life was always against me in one way or another. In this case, I just couldn't ignore the impending need to relieve myself. Over the course of however long I was asleep, my bladder had filled and while I had been able to ignore all the signs up until this point, I could ignore it no longer.

Reluctantly, I slowly and painfully pushed myself off of the lounge, sneaking my way into the bathroom in hopes not to disturb my mum or sister while I did my business. Once inside, it became obvious that the CDC was only made to function efficiently. I could tell by the way the bathroom consisted solely of the basic bathroom requirements: a toilet, shower, sink, and a mirror. However, no matter how simple it was, I was just thankful for the chance to clean up.

Closing the door behind me, I stripped to nothing and stepped into the small shower cubicle, letting the hot water burn my skin as it washed over me. The water wasn't that hot, more along the lines of warm, but with the way it caressed each and every one of my cuts and scrapes, it felt a lot warmer. Because of this, the act of bathing was stressful on my body, the heat leaving me feeling fuzzy in the head on top of everything else I felt. Either way, I pushed through, liking the way the running water left me feeling cleaner than I had in months. It left me feeling almost as if I could relax and let all my worries wash down the drain.