Unusual love (junzhe) (Completed)

Day 10 : mistake

Zhehan's pov

"It's a mistake"

A pearl like tear drop escaped my eyes..i was confused what did he meant by this.. What is a mistake.. But my confusion was soon cleared when gongjun started to speak again

"I am sorry zhehan.. It was all a mistake.. I didn't meant it. I was drunk and not in my sense. I am sorry zhehan"

"Gong-"

"I know I wasn't that drunk but it was just s heat of moment.. I really don't want to ruin this relationship between us"

I didn't even got to say anything... "D-do you like me? "I asked nervously. I was praying hard for him to say yes.." No... I do like you as a friend.. You are my best friend.. You changed me totally and I am totally ashamed for doing such a thing.. It was really a mistake "

His words made me remember the thing I read in a book.. The topic was rejection..

The book said :

" Rejection can cause us to feel a slew of emotions, ranging from confusion to sadness to rage. Oftentimes, people don't understand exactly why they've been rejected, which can lead to a downward spiral of negative introspection and an overall sense of not feeling “good enough.” "

At that time I didn't understand what it meant but now I sure know what it means..

Why did I got rejected? I couldn't even say about my feelings.. I couldn't even express my love for him.. Am I really not good enough? Am just really a mistake? Did all this felt nothing to him? Did all those pleasure was a one night thing for him?

Why do I feel so disgusted with myself? Why do I feel like I was being used? Why do I feel like a toy? A toy only for use.. Did I really failed in my 15 days mission. Was it all just my imagination? Did he always think of me as a friend? Maybe I asked for too much right?

So it was really heart break..Some people describe it as a dull ache, others as piercing, while still others experience it as a crushing sensation. The pain can last for a few seconds and then subside, or it can be chronic, hanging over your days and depleting you like just like the pain.. While me who was feeling all of these things

I already prepared myself for both answers.. It shouldn't hurt so much right? But why does it hurts so much?it hurts like hell.. I feel like someone just crushed my heart and it's bleeding now... At last my winter didn't leave me

Maybe this was my destiny.

I watch him apologize hundred of times and going out of the room.. But it felt like he was going out of my life. Was it really the end?
Did he really felt nothing?

Gongjun's pov

As soon as I woke up panic rised inside me.. I slept with my best friend.. I slept with zhehan.. Just yesterday I got to know about his secret and today here I was in a bed with him naked done sinful acts

I don't even deserve to call myself a friend.. How can I sleep with someone whom I don't even love... (Did he really felt nothing for zhehan? Does he really not love zhehan? So it was a one sided love? )

I apologized to him hundreds of times.. But I know I can't make it right.. Why did I even drank..i shouldn't have planned this all in a bar.. It was just a heat of the moment gongjun.. Nothing else.. You don't love zhehan neither zhehan loves you.. You don't deserve to be loved by him after what you did

The more I thought about it the more I felt guilty. I felt ashamed disgusted with myself.. I took his virginity.. Everyone expects their virginity to taken by the person they love and here I took zhehan's virginity... I don't know if I can ever face zhehan after this

It was all a mistake.. Only a mistake.. I have to make zhehan reassure that it was all a mistake.. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this..

3rd person pov

Yeah so this is why I didn't wrote the smut part.. It was just a mistake.. That's what gongjun wanted to make zhehan believe to reassure him.. Little did he know that the word mistake was killing zhehan again and again

What would now happen? Was it really the end?