New Life

Chapter 16- I love you!

It had gotten dark by the time I had made my way home. My eyes were sore from the many tears I had cried, my legs were aching form the many, god knows how long, hours I had ran. 

I stumbled to the bathroom and turned on the ice cold shower. I didn’t bother getting undressed because I would be warmer with more layers on and I sat under the heavy fall of ice droplets falling hard on my head and shoulders. I hugged my knees to my chest for more comfort and warmth then closed my eyes to try and blank out the image of Ian that kept appearing in my head… 

The water mixed with the fresh tears I cried… I didn’t know how much I loved Ian until I left him! I don’t think I’ll be able to face Ian without bursting into tears ever again.

But I have to stay strong because I can’t go down that road again! and no love I feel for Ian could outweigh the love and care I feel for my mother! I told myself that I would never let my mother breakdown again like she did after Alex divorced her and ruined our lives!

After my eyes dried up and I could officially not cry a single more tear I turned the tap off and struggled to my feet. The cold air instantly hit me and I began to shiver… seriously, when are we going to get hot water!! I miss hot showers! 

I completely stripped all item of clothing off and wrapped a thick fluffy towel around my shivering body, seeking its warmth. I quickly dashed to my bedroom, changed into my black PJ bottoms and slipped on a white vest top and a two sizes too big hoodie, immediately returning me back to a normal body temperature.

My bed had never looked so irresistible so I dove under the covers and curled up into the fatuous position, my eyes began to get heavy and I almost fell asleep until, 

*buzzzz buzzzzz* 

My phone vibrated on the night stand next to my bed… there could only be one person who would be calling me! 

I picked up the phone, squinting my eyes to get adjusted to the light and saw a goofy picture I had taken of Ian.. it was so cute and I remember Ian begging me to change it, but that only made me was it more! 

Remembering the good times we had shared made my eyes cloud over with tears and the picture on my phone went. Only seconds later the picture appeared again as he tried to call me again, but I can’t do this to myself! I can’t put myself through the pain! 

I hung up and opened up a new message,

‘Stop calling me!’

Ian replied instantly,

‘Please Mia, please just let me talk to you! Let me explain myself!
I can’t live without you, my heart is breaking without you!
I love you!! ’

His words broke my heart more! Why was I doing this to him, to us!?! I didn’t reply, I couldn’t! I turned off my phone and rolled over to try and turn away from all my troubled… eventually I fell asleep.

***

Monday morning came too quickly! It might have been because I had spent the whole weekend curled up in my bed, ignoring the infinite amount of calls from Ian.

Sam had herd from Joe about us and stayed over at mine last night, we stayed up all night! It was full of me explaining then crying and then Sam comforting me until we gradually fell asleep… Sam understood why I left Ian because she knows about Alex…

We loaded into her car and I leaned my head on the window, physically and mentally drained from the events of the weekend! The drive to school went so quickly.. as if the world knows that I really don’t want to be at school or see Ian so has decided to speed everything up so I get to school sooner!