Tw: su!cid@l t0ught$
At first she thought maybe it was depression. Maybe burnout. In a way she was right. Her wings were burnt from all the pretending and the trauma. Perhaps she was just buried under this thick blanket of repressed thoughts and emotions. All those screams of rage she had swallowed, keeping them inside her. All those tears she fought not to shed. She often told herself her mind was trying to victimize itself. But what if it was real? All those years of autopilot mode, all of those panic attacks, all the tears and snot along with those fit of rage, what if they were justified? She wasn't ready for that debate inside of her. She knew it would take to much energy, which she was lacking. She was fragile and weaker than before, on her knees before adversity, stress, life... She wasn't ready to give up but it seemed so hard and motivation had left her for a long time. All that was left were those little moments of joy, which seemed miserable compared to the mountain of problems before her. She was hold on to dear life. But did life even want her? Yes definitely, unless....
Hey guys :) I hope yall are doing amazing (even if you read my stuff 😅). If you feel unwell and need to vent you can message me :). Also here are some helpful numbers in case you really need help :
United states Suicide Prevention Lifeline : 1-800-273-8255
Canada Suicide Prevention Service : 1-833-456-4566
Quebec: 1-866-277-3553
France Prévention du suicide : 3114
Please know that you are worthy of love, of life, and that your are not a burden. Love you :)
