Forgetting the Past

Chapter Seven: What Haunts Us

Clary opened her eyes slowly, squinting in the bright light of the room. She was back in the Institute, laying in a bed in the infirmary. She rubbed the sleep from her groggy eyes and turned her head to see her mother, Luke, Jace, and Alec in the room.
Jace was pacing the far wall, ranting in a hushed but fierce voice. The windows behind him ere dark with nightfall. How long has she been asleep? Alec sat on a nearby bed, facing him and listening intently. He picked nervously at a sweater he had changed into, but Jace still wore his gear.
Jocelyn and Luke sat on the bed next to hers, their legs stretched out in front of them. Both of them had eyes were closed, but Clary was not sure if they were sleeping or just resting. Her mother was lraning her head on Luke's shoulder, and she smiled a bit at their affection. But at the same time she felt very awkward seeing her parents be romantic toward each other. Yuck.
"... What can we do? We barely defeated him last time, and now the heavenly fire's gone. He's more powerful too," Jace said to Alec, but she suspected he was mostly talking to himself. "And Clary, she-" he began grimly, looking up to see her awake. "Clary," he called, his expression automatically softening. She wasn't sure she had wanted to hear what Jace was about to say. He strode toward her bed, followed by Alec, and knelt down beside it, loving concern in his gaze.
"Are you okay?" He asked, taking ahold of her hand. Jocelyn stirred from her now apparent slumber, and in turn, so did Luke.
"I'm fine," she replied in a raspy tone. Clearing her throat, she reached for a water glass that was immediately handed to her by Jocelyn.
"Thanks," she said, taking a few gulps. Her throat felt like chalk; had she been breathing through her mouth? She looked back to Jace, who held her gaze.
"Do you want to stay in here tonight?" He asked tenderly.
"No, I'm alright. We can go to your bedroom."
He gave her a mischievous look, causing her to suspect an inappropriate comment was held back in the presence of her parents. She shook her head, smirking at his childlike behavior, and sat up. She slid off the bed and, after saying good night to her parents and Alec, walked hand-in-hand with Jace to his bedroom.
Everything was still as neatly organized as when he had left it, though with fewer belongings. Most of his things had been taken to the Herondale manor where they lived, but a small assortment of weapons and a select few books still remained to mark it as his place.
Clary slid open a drawer to search for one of his large t-shirts to wear to bed. Upon finding one, she slid out of her gear and put it on. She was so small the hem fell down to her mid-thighs.
Jace had removed his weapon belt, but stood watching Clary undo the ponytail her hair had been in. When she looked back at him, he only turned away and put on his pajamas.
Clary crawled into the bed, sitting up with her legs under the covers. She angled her body toward Jace, waiting for him to join her, and he slid under the covers beside her.
Putting a callused hand on her cheek, he whispered, "Do you want to talk about what happened today?"
Clary took a deep breath, then shook her head. "No... I... I just don't want to think about it."
"Okay," he said, stroking her cheekbone with his thumb. "We're going to be alright, Clary. I'll protect you. No matter what it takes, I'll keep you safe. You'll remember that, won't you?"
"Of course," she replied, voice so quiet it was barely audible.
"Good," he said. The two fell silent.
Eventually, though, Jace spoke. "Clary, what do you want?" His voice was low and uneven.
"I want you to kiss me," she whispered. Jace leaned down to touch his lips to hers, pressing against them gently, but that wasn't what Clary wanted now. She wanted to forget about everything, she wanted to be lost in his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his torso, pulling herself up to push her mouth firmly against his. His arms found their places around her own waist, aligning her body with his. He parted her lips, and as she nipped at his lower lip he groaned deep in his throat.
Suddenly Jace pulled away. His chest was heaving, as was Clary's, and his eyes gleamed with a dark amber light.
"Clary," he warned, but the crack in his voice betrayed what he really wanted to say.
"I know," she said, looking away from him. Now isn't the time. "It's okay."
"Are you sure...?"
"I'm tired," she said, and though she had just been sleeping, it was truthful. She wondered if there was any amount of sleep that could ever remove her constantly drained feeling.
For a moment Jace hesitated, then he nodded and gave her one more short, sweet kiss. When he pulled away he lowered himself down underneath the blankets. Clary joined him, brushing her hand against his as he turned off the lamp.
"I love you," she told him in the darkness.
"I love you too, Clary," he replied. Sleep came quickly.

Clary woke sometime during the night, staring up at the ceiling and wishing for sleep. She was distantly aware that something in the shadows was stirring next to the bed, and she looked over to see Sebastian. Terror gripped her, and she screamed for someone, anyone to help her. Be he flipped over to straddle Clary's and her cry was silenced when his hand clamped over her mouth. Sebastian grinned down at her and panic began to fight common sense in Clary's mind. Her panic was winning.
Clary could feel her heart pounding against her ribcage, as if it wanted to escape her chest the way she wanted to escape her brother. But when she moved to push him off of her, he wouldn't budge. It was as if he was cemented in place. She tried to cry out again, but her put a single finger to her lips. "Screaming will do you no good, little sister," he said. "There's no one to hear you."
"What do you..." she began to ask, when she whipped her head around to look at Jace. He was next to her in the bed, staring up at the ceiling with blank eyes. He wore the same red gear as the Endarkened had, and rolled his head over excruciatingly slowly to look at her. Every bit of personality had drained from his eyes, and he gave her the same devious smirk as her brother had; Clary knew immediately that he had been Turned. Choking back a sob, she pushed again and again at Sebastian. "Jace! Jace!" She yelled to him, but it was futile.
"You won't say that name anymore, little sister," Sebastian growled. But Clary didn't stop. All she could think was that the real Jace couldn't be gone, he couldn't be worse than dead; Endarkened. She remembered the possessed Jace, how he had looked like himself and acted like himself but wasn't himself, and this was infinitely worse.
Suddenly Sebastian's mouth came down on hers with painful force, cutting off Clary's shouts but not her sobs. He moved his lips harshly on hers, pushing her oversized nightshirt up around her ribs. Clary whimpered like a trapped animal, pushing against him without success. When he finally broke the kiss to remove her shirt completely, she screamed at the top of her lungs for help.
Sebastian laughed. He laughed. That didn't stop Clary though, that was, until he clamped her jaw shut.
"Oh, sister," he chuckled. "So foolish. They won't save you; nobody will. I Turned them all."

The dream began to dissolve, turning to dust in her mind as Clary bolted upright in bed, panting. She put a hand over her mouth, realizing that she had been sobbing in her sleep. Jace was cradling her in his lap, his golden hair and irises like gleaming metal in the pitch black of night.
"Shh, shh, it's alright," he soothed. She could hear the worry in his voice, but he was regardless trying to calm her. Clary buried her face in the fabric of his shirt, clutching him like a lifeline. It had been a nightmare, only a dream. Jace was himself, not Turned, and Sebastian wasn't there. Her mind accepted it, but her body still trembled with fear.
"I'm here, Clary, I won't let anything happen to you." Jace rubbed comforting circles on her back, easing her nerves slightly. Eventually Clary cried herself into a dreamless sleep.