ONESHOTS // MCYT / DSMP

Tommy(Michael) In The Bathroom

TW//CW - Mention of alcohol, mention of neglect, mention of suicide, suicidal thoughts, (maybe underaged drinking depending on how old you think everyone is canonically)

[Published: January 7th, 2022]
[Edited: title, it sounded weird out of context]

Lyrics to Michael in the Bathroom (Video↑)

(PLATONIC/BROTHERLY LOVE)

~ • | • ~

Everyone on the server was invited to this party hosted by Dream. I only came because I knew Tubbo would and I wanted to make things up with him.

The music is loud, it drowns out my dreadful sobs while people laugh and sing outside of this bathroom. No one noticed me leave, I could disappear right now and nobody would know.

I can hear Tubbo talking to some people, he was drowning out his sorrows by following his father's addictions. I'm not sure if I'll come out of this bathroom before the party ends, but I'm safe to cry without anyone knowing in here.

I miss him, he made me forget my pain momentarily by making happier memories. We got into a fight and it was my fault, I started it and I'm what we fought about. If I had been better, maybe we could still be friends or talking right now.

I'm just sitting in this bathroom, alone and sad. I lost track of time a long time ago. I've decided I'm not leaving or letting anyone in here until it's time to leave.

Tubbo's probably talking to Ranboo right now, trying to forget. Tubbo found a replacement for me probably the second I was gone and it's my fault.

I guess I can't blame Tubbo for using alcohol to drown out, I was doing the same thing, but I can withstand more than he can. I'll be in here as long as I need and wait until my face is dry or I could blame it on something in my eye.

People think they know me, the loud, obnoxious, troubled kid. I only felt the need to be loud because if I wasn't, I would get ignored and that would make me feel shitty. I was obnoxious because I wanted to make people laugh, but I didn't know how to. I may be troubled, but I was only trying to be happy even if it was fake. I'd believe into my own lie that I was happy sometimes, but I knew I wasn't.

Several knocks could be heard against the door to this bathroom, I start to panic.

"I-I'll be out soon!" I yelled, but they were persistent. I splash some water on my face as they continue to knock and I open the door.

"HeY thEre, To- TomMy~!" Tubbo hiccupped, he was drunk out of his mind and I'm the reason why. I should have stayed at home, offed myself while wishing I wasn't born instead.

He stumbled into my arms, "Tubbo, are you okay?"

He looked up at me and held my hands, "No, aRe yoU okAy? I mIss yOu,"

"I miss you too, Tubz," I dodge his question, he looks at me, suspicious.

"I. MiSs. YOu!" Tears threaten at his eyes.

"Oh, don't cry. I'm sorry Tubbo, it was my fault we fought," I had us sit down and held him close to me, trying to calm him down.

"ShUt," He lightly punched my chest as he buried his head on my shoulder, "You AlwaYs blAme yoUrseLf, stOp it,"

I tried to protest, but I didn't know what to say because he was right.

"ShUt tHe fuCk up, lEt me hUg yoU," He sat in my lap and hugged me closer, "I lOve YOu, I miSs yoU," He sniffled.

"I love you too, Tubbo," His breath slowed showing he fell asleep, I was exhausted, so I also closed my eyes and fell asleep with Tubbo in my arms again. Getting over the fight will have to wait until we wake up and are sober.