𝑰𝒏 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑲𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂♡

𝙸𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝙱𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜

"..I should probably go home.." I muttered, realizing I had been here for much longer than I had intended to. "Why would you want to go home? I give you a chance and you decide to leave me? Don't you love me, Ouma?" He immediately set his phone down. "But Kage-chan.. I just.. I can't stay here.. I do love you.. I really do.. But we can see each other tomorrow..!"

"If you make me wait until tomorrow to see you again, I won't be able to bear it. I might just hurt myself. You don't want me to slit my wrists do you?"

Those words just stung. I felt like an absolute horrible person. I wouldn't want him to hurt himself..

"Kage-chan.. You'll be alright.. Please, just don't hurt yourself.. I-I don't wanna see you hurt.." He loved me so much.. I couldn't bear to just let him hurt himself. We love eachother so much. We're a perfect match. And to think I would make my precious Kagehara self harm? I'm horrible.

"Stay here for the night. Please, darling? I love you so much and I just can't handle it when you leave.." He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. "I.. Well.. How could I say no..? I'll stay here for the night.. I want to be with you, Kage-chan.."

"Ah.. Good boy.." I could tell he was smiling over his accomplishment from the tone in his voice. I guess I'll be staying here for the night. "Just let me call my mom and-" "No! What're you? A kid? You're 17, Ouma.. I'm sure she knows you're fine."

"..Oh.. Yeah.. Yeah, she shouldn't be too worried.." The thing was, my mom actually was a rather worrisome person. She's probably going to be blowing up my phone in a minute. She probably thinks I've been kidnapped or something.

"..Hey, Kage-chan?"

"Yes, love?"

Oh that pet name gave me butterflies..

"Um.. C-can I look at the pictures you took of me earlier..? Maybe I looked weird or something.."

"..Fine." And then he went to opening his gallery. He showed me some of the photos. "..O-oh.. I really do look like a slut.. Almost straight out of a hentai.."

"I know.. I'll be getting off on that if you aren't around."

"..If?"

"Yeah. If. We love each other, right? So we should spend as much time together as possible."

"Oh.. Yeah. Right.." I was new to this whole relationship thing. I had only been in a few relationships before and it turned out most of them were just using me for something or dating me as a joke. But I really think Kagehara-chan truly loves me.. He's so nice to me. He wouldn't use me or cheat on me.. And I really hope this isn't a joke because Kage-chan means everything to me.

"Mm.. These photos are honestly almost enough to get me hard again.."

I glanced down almost immediately. Just to know if I had to brace myself for what was possibly to come. "Do you.. Want to fuck me again..? You.. Err.. You can if you need to, I guess.. I wouldn't want my beloved to be stuck with a hard-on."

"Wow. You're already so obedient to me.. You must know the drill, huh slut?"

"I.. Y-yeah.. I guess.."

"Either way, I won't be fucking you for now."

"Alright.. Uhh.. Can I go to the bathroom?" I decided to ask. I needed to think over some things and clean myself up. "Yeah, fine. It's over there." He pointed to a door. "Alright! Thanks, Kage-chan.. I love you." I smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before getting up off of the bed. It hurt. My insides were sore. I didn't exactly get cleaned up so what was still inside of me just sort of leaked out down my legs. It felt gross. Degrading almost. It was all sticky and thick and just uncomfortable. I shook the thoughts away. I should be happy. Kage-chan did that because he loves me. I quickly hobbled into Kage-chan's bathroom and shut the door behind me.

I leaned over the sink, staring at myself in the mirror. I couldn't stop the tears that began to fall down my face as I gripped the sink tightly. Why was I crying? Did I have a reason? I should be happy. Happy. Not sad. Why am I sad? Why would I have any reason at all to be upset? Kagehara-chan finally cared. He finally loves me. Yet here I am, crying over his bathroom sink because he showed me that he loved me. But I couldn't shake the feeling of disgust. He's marked me from the inside. He's not gross.. Kage-chan is anything but gross.. I love him so much.. But my body felt disgusting. Like he had tainted it or something. I had always wanted this.. So why does it feel so wrong?

I just wanted to tear my skin open. There was an itching pulsing through my veins. I had to itch it. I had to. Or it would never stop. It drove me crazy. I felt like I was going insane. My heart was racing. Everything hurts. I feel.. Guilty? Like a bad person. I want to be confronted. I want to just apologize. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.. Is all of this my fault? This is all because I hurt him. I was stalking him. Like a desperate fucking creep. He confronted me. I shouldn't feel the need to apologize however, I've already been 'punished'. I'm sorry, Kage-chan. I love you.

No matter how much I cried or muttered out 'I'm sorry' to my poor reflection in the mirror, the itching just. Would. Not. Stop. Why won't it stop? Please stop. Please. I don't like it. Just please. I'm sorry. Is this another punishment? Not from a person.. But from my very own body? Have I not been hurt enough? I'm sorry.. My lungs felt like they were caving in. My throat was all closed up. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so bad. But no one would ever want to listen to that scream. I'd be told to shut up. Everyone has their own problems. My problem is a small regret. I regret something I wanted. People have bigger issues than me. Much bigger issues. It was something I wanted, right? Why would I regret something I wanted? This is confusing. Why is everything so loud? It feels like my mind is screaming at me. The itching won't stop. I need to stop the itching. I need to stop it. Please stop. I don't like it. No more. Please. Please..

I blacked out. Everything faded into static. I felt like I lost control of my body for a while. Nothing felt real.

I'm sorry..

I don't like this..

I just want it all to stop..

When I finally regained a sense of reality, there were claw marks.. All down my wrists.. Bleeding.. It slowly dripped down my arms. It was so.. Entrancing.. I still didn't feel satisfied.. But the burning made me stop. It hurt too much. I've always been such a wimp. I've always been scared of too much.

No matter what it was. If it was too much, I hated it. Tears continued streaming down my face. They felt so.. Hot. I hate that too. They almost burned. My body felt so sensitive. Just like my mind. My wrists still stung. I quickly turned the sink on, waited for the water to be good enough to please me, and tried to clean up the marks that my own nails left. Why did I do that? Now everyone will be upset. I did that for attention. I always do things for attention. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to. I can't go back now. I'm so sorry. Please, why won't someone forgive me? Why won't somebody help?

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