Solace (completed)

Chapter Seven

Alex Solace

I left him.

I tried calling him just to tell him that I needed to get back to school to get my car and... he just snapped.

My voice got stuck in my throat and I hung up immediately. My body was trembling with fear and my heart sped up knowing that he was probably coming home soon. So I quickly put on my shoes, gave Rocky a sad smile, and bolted out the house.

   I should have never called. I knew he was angry, from what happened at his house and at school... I knew calling him was a mistake. I couldn't do anything right yesterday. I just kept making him angry and angry and angry.

   It took me the whole walk to school to realize my mistakes, to realize why he was angry. The first time was because I called out to him when Chase was grabbing me. I don't know why I didn't just shut the fuck up. Where all that fucking confidence came from. So like a goddamn idiot, I screamed for help, I screamed for him.

   That was my first mistake.

   The second time was when I sat on the floor. I honestly thought he would be happy. I thought I was doing what he wanted. In all my past experiences, I wasn't allowed in the bed so I figured he wanted me on the floor. But when he saw me on my knees, he was angry. He told me to sit in the bed, next to him, with him. I don't even know what to think about that sentence.

That was my second mistake.

My third, like I said, was calling him. I think all the frustration I've caused him over the past hour built up and he just snapped at me. And the worst part? I don't even blame him.

After the phone call I left his house immediately because I was scared of what would happen when he came home. Maybe it'll come back to bite me in the ass today, but there's nothing I can do about it. Knowing that I'm going to have to see him in sixth and seventh period makes me shake with fear. Something I never thought would happen because of Eli.

   I never thought I would be scared of him. I knew I would be sad and angry when he let his true intentions show, but that was my own problem. I never thought he would give me enough reason to be scared of him. But right now I am, I'm fucking terrified.

I ended up using my GPS to walk from his house to the school to get my car, and went about the rest of my day normally.

Normally.

I should've just stayed at his house. If I had just stayed at his house and accepted whatever shouting match or physical altercation he threw my way then I wouldn't be fearing for my life right now. I fucked up royally.

I know that sounds stupid. 'Guys don't get that mad.' I hate to break it to you, but they do.

   The anger I heard in his voice when he picked up the call, it reminded me of father. It reminded me of when a guy would ask for sex and I didn't say yes immediately. For the first time since I've known Eli, his voice didn't give me warmth and security... it brought genuine fear down my spine.

I didn't want to go to school today for this reason, but I knew I would have to face him sometime.

So now I'm here at my locker, trying to prolong going to sixth period as much as I can, getting everything in and out of my locker at a snail's pace.

Everything's gonna be fine. It's Eli we're talking about. Maybe it was just a moment of anger, maybe it wasn't even directed at you.

That can't be right. Guys lie, they put up nice guy façades to get what they want. That's what Eli has been doing since the moment I met him. Playing nice to get what he wants in the end. That moment of anger, what if that was him showing his true colors? His true personality?