Solace (completed)

Chapter Fifty-Six*

This will be emotional and intimate and will also contain Alex figuring out her feelings before it gets smutty. If you get aggravated by that... number one ur a shitty person, and number two, grow up and let Alex have this pivotal moment in her life.

Also, if you feel like Elias is being too mean or rough with her for some reason, please read the authors note at the bottom. I don't see it as mean, but others don't have my mindset.

The epilogue is next <3
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Alex Solace

   "Ready for the real thing?"

   Buddy, give my legs a break, would you?

   I blinked at him a few times, my breath and body still shaking as nerves came crashing down on me. Why my throat chose now to close and deny oxygen, I don't know, but all I know is there's a golf ball in my throat and a burning feeling in my chest. A second ago I was writhing in pleasure, and now it's because of fear.

   Speaking of pleasure; Ho-ly FUCK!

   I think I actually saw stars. I'm willing to bet any amount of money that I passed out for five seconds with my eyes open, as well. I don't think I've ever felt that good to the point where I was shaking. He did good the first few times we were intimate but... wow.

   Again- no.

   The name calling, the roughness, the hand on my belly and throat- the way he squished my cheeks and held my jaw like I was his... Jesus, I loved all of it.

   Would someone please like to explain to me how even when he was calling me a slut I still felt safe and loved? How the fuck does that work out? Because that's what happened. He was doing what I wanted. I wanted rough, I wanted faster and harder; I wanted him to stop being sweet for five seconds and just touch me. Fuck, did he deliver.

   He even checked in on me and asked if I was thirsty. I thought that was sweet. I kind of lied because I did want some water but I didn't want him to leave me either. Guess which one I went with.

   He held me, stroked my cheek, kissed my forehead, stopped and had me breathe before we continued. I wasn't surprise at how attentive he was,

   But that was different. We were warming up, we weren't actually having sex yet. No penetration had happened. But now... now it's... now it's time. Don't get me wrong- I still want to. I don't think I'll ever want to do this with anyone else besides him, but fear is an inevitable thing.

   And unfortunately it takes over me easier than it does for others.

   So was I ready for the real thing? I don't think I'll ever be ready. Most virgins aren't ready for their first time but they still do it because it's with someone they love and trust. I don't think anyone is ever completely ready, but it's one of those things where you won't know if you don't try.

   I just.. I just need a bit more help to get there, is all.

   His gaze was soft and comforting, his body completely covering mine as his left hand gently wiped the sweat off of my forehead. Whenever made me feel like I had to rush my answer- just looked at me with all the love and patience in the world.

   Warm lips pressed against my cheek- probably because he noticed I was going silent and wanted to make sure I wasn't shutting down which is something I tend to do. His breath fanned my face, and my tired eyes wanted to close at the comforting feeling.