Nanny Diaries 2 - The New Litter

Trapped

"What is going on? Why is the house for sale?" I demanded, as soon as we were inside the house and mum risked removing the pacifier again, whilst dad was still fetching the suitcases inside. "Mum?"

"Your father has a new job, dear." She said, whilst unbuttoning my coat. "It's such a brilliant opportunity...much more money, relocation expenses, help with a new mortgage...and the best thing is we will be much closer to you."

"Elizabeth...don't spoil her," Dad growled, struggling in through the front door.

"What new job?" I asked, looking from one of them to the other. Dad had moved mum from Kent for a new job, the year I started at Norland, almost four years before. That had been a real wrench for her, because all her friends were in Maidstone, but he said that it was too good an opportunity to miss. It was, I suppose, one of the reasons we had grown apart, a bit, because their new house was not my home. I mean, we still talked a lot, on the phone or computer, and I still loved them, obviously, but I would have gone back to Kent a lot more than I had ever gone to the new place. But mum had done well, making new friends, and getting involved in the village they settled in, and it was cruel to make her move again, I thought. "And how much closer? What about all mum's friends...again?"

"We already have lots of new friends there...and we will be closer to you...Elizabeth is all for it, aren't you love?" Dad said, as he shut the front door.

"Absolutely...Helen and Colin have been very kind...I can't wait to get down there..."

"Helen and Colin? What have they got to do with you moving?"

"We're moving to Meadvale, darling." Mum informed me, just like that, as dad moved closer and took a firm hold on my hand. "Dad is going to be Director of Finance at your school...and we will have a new house on the edge of the grounds...it's all well and good talking about your new family, but we want to be part of your new life too."

"But..."

"But nothing young lady...now, you mess that diaper and your mother can get you changed and ready for tea. We've joined the church as well, obviously...it's a job requirement anyway but we wanted to join after Christmas...and now we can really help you keep your vows and take advantage of your own opportunities." Dad said, as mum put the pacifier back again, into my open mouth, and took hold of my other shaking hand. I had been intending to insist that they treated me normally at home, but they had shocked that particular wind right out of my sails. If they had joined the church, if they were really serious about it, I would be leaving them if I decided to break my promises. And selling the house seemed pretty serious, as did resigning from his job as Financial Director of a big building firm. I spent the next two days in a complete daze, on automatic pilot. Mum treated me like a nursling the whole time, and I let her, because I did not know what else to do. I know it is a cliché. I know I have said it before. But my life really was becoming a total nightmare.

"She slept almost all the way." Mum was saying as I felt someone loosen the car seat harness and start to free my arms. "Special formula just before we left, and she went out like a light...I think she has messed, but we decided not to stop...she looked so peaceful."

"Oh, that special formula is like magic," Annie replied, getting her hands under my armpits and heaving me out of the car. "She will be drowsy for a while yet, but I will soon get her clean Mrs Scott...you go and enjoy your coffee with Mrs Hughes."

I was too big to carry far, but Annie was trained for it, of course. I was still half-asleep, after a dose of sedative-laced milk, but she got me upstairs, somehow, and onto the changing table in the familiar nursery. Home, my brain told me. I saw all my sisters in the playpen, all reading their bibles, but looking up and smiling at me around their pacifiers. I tried to smile back, but Annie was taking my coat off and getting in the way. My diaper was full, and stinky. I wrinkled my nose as she laid me down and removed it, before attacking me with wet wipes. Annie took out my pacifier. "Are you with us, pickle?"