[Discontinued] Self Care

PART 4

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COLT

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I am a handsome man. I think this as I look at my beautiful reflection. I grin to show off my pearly white teeth.

"El primo has whiter teeth.", my mind supplies.

I frown at this, this is not the time. I shake my head and comb my hair. I place hair-gel carefully into my hair to hold it in place.

Once I was done, I walked down stairs. Turning on the TV, I take a sip of coffee left over from last night's poker game. As I do this, I glance at the newspaper. I spit the cold brew in a comical manner, there was a bug.

I race to the bathroom to clean my mouth out again; I really need to stop doing that. When will I ever learn?

This time, when I look at the paper, I decided to get coffee later. The background noise in the form of the TV had me turning my head towards it.

My best friend was on the most wanted list!

"Since when did Shelly steal a space-ship and why didn't she invite me? We just played poker last night!"

I grab my phone from my pocket and read some text messages she left. They didn't make much sense, but one thing is for sure- she just proved ALIENS were real.

Man is she the best or what?

Suddenly, I felt an ache in my chest and no matter how loud the TV was, I couldn't hear anything. It was quiet.

It was so quiet, I got scared. I needed to get out; to go somewhere with lots of people. So, I did.

I turned my TV off, locked the door and left my house a mess. Eventually, I located a cafe I like. I sat down at a table on the patio of the cafe.

I needed to ease my anxiety. I tried to order a smoothie and a lemon pound cake, but then I thought about the calories. I got a water and half of a whole-wheat bun. It was shaped like a bunny.

I bounced my leg and tapped my fingers on the table as I waited. The waiter took too long, I was starting to think again. I took my phone out and scrolled through my favorite fashion channels.

"-Of course only women follow me! What man wears make-up?"

"-Men don't care about fashion! If they did they should-"

"-how can a man shave? Men should only have a rugged look to be attractive!"

I turn off my phone, I don't feel like looking at the latest trends. I need to stop thinking! Maybe spraying my favorite cologne will help?

I felt no different after spraying my favorite cologne. It didn't help. This cologne is in the current trend in men's fashion. It's a little expensive but I thought spoiling myself would be okay one time.

I am a small time model, but I have tried branching out to appeal to different people. I love the attention; I love how much my fans care about me. So I would groom myself every day and keep myself self nice and neat.

The waiter comes back with my order, I dig in. I thought the waiter gave me a look, but maybe I was seeing things? I felt a spike in my nerves and turned to my cologne.

The longer I sat by myself doing nothing, the worse I felt. I looked around me and saw a handsome man walking in a dark grey suit. I thought I was handsome, but this man made me shrink. I was underwhelming. This man would take every job I ever had and be paid twice as much. He could take one job and still make more than me, he was that handsome.

I unconsciously sprayed myself in comfort. The man turned his head in my direction. I forced myself to look at my phone that was still off. I was almost caught staring too long.

I reached peek paranoia and panic. I reached for my cologne, desperate for some kind of comfort.

Bad idea, I became a problem. I tried to stay confident in front of the clearly upset lady. I hoped I hadn't looked as sick as I felt. Maybe flirting with her would make her less mad?

Oh no. No no no!

I am a terrible person! That poor girl, how dare I even think of comforting myself like that! I wish I knew sooner or wouldn't have bought this cologne. It felt nice at first, but now it's a burden.

Her other friend has every right to lash out at me for harming her friend! Why did I think I could make things right? I should have apologized more.

I didn't. I don't know if it was pride or the sheer amount of shame, but I just gave her a dumb smile and said what I hoped was clever display of wit and kindness.

No, it wasn't. Now they are all looking at me. It's times like this I wish wasn't a model or more importantly. I wish I had Shelly. No, that's selfish. She is having fun in space, I would just bring her down.

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I shoot. I aim, shoot, and laugh. I feel so good. I feel like I can be myself, I feel like I can relax.

I look to my left and see a kid, they have a neat little hat and two big braids. I take her out and before I could collect the cubes she left behind, a green creature with an ominous and oddly vacant smile appears and runs off with them.

I get mad. Here, I can be mad. I'm allowed to be mad. I chase them until I see a bottle with a green liquid get lobbed at me. It went in my mouth and screamed in pain. Green liquid bad. Luckily I still had health-

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END.