Do You Have Regrets? (Levi x Reader)

Chapter 8: Just Us

Darkness. Complete and utter darkness. I was surrounded in complete and utter darkness.

The faint sounds of birds sometimes swam through my ears. I felt like I was floating. Suspended in space, drifting along.

Waiting, I was always waiting.

I heard soft cries and often creaking. I had no idea if I was alive or dead. I simply... was.

It felt like years as I stayed suspended feeling everything, but nothing at the same time. I didn't know anything, I often thought of a man with dark hair and icy eyes. He consumed my brain, though I wasn't sure who he was.

In my time suspended I played with the idea that I was stuck, between life and death. It was the same thing over and over and over. Until I felt a shock run through my body, starting at my toes and moving its way past my nose. Once the shock passed over my head, my eyes jerked open.

What I saw was a white ceiling. I turned my head slowly and I saw I was laying in a bed. There were medical supplies surrounding me. I heard faint chatters coming from a not too distant room. I heard birds chirping and the window behind my head creaked as the wind blew. I gingerly sat up and inspected the room further. It smelled like every hospital. I felt uneasy.

Once again the man with icy eyes ran through my head, but this time I knew who he was. "Levi?" I questioned aloud. As I felt tears in my eyes again. My memories flooding my senses as I remembered the horrors of my life. I felt tears run down my cheeks and I choked back a cry that was threatening to escape. "Levi, Hange?" I questioned again. "Isabel, Farlan?" My voice choked as I let out a small sob.

I tried to stop crying. Why was I still alive? I wanted so much to have died. I was to blame. My dear friends died because I , as their Captain, couldn't keep them safe. My one job. I cursed myself and dug my nails into the palms of my hands. So hard, in fact, I drew blood. I was still sobbing when the door opened to reveal Hange.

"Y/n?!" She questioned frantically. "Thank the lord you're awake!" She ran to me, embracing me, and I hugged her back.

My sobs calmed down as she stroked my hair and whispered that everything was alright in my ear. I wanted to believe her, I truly did. Once my cries became soft sniffles she pulled away and looked at me. Inspecting every inch of my face. I gave her a sad smile.

"What happened?" I finally asked. Hange went on to explain in detail that a titan had tried to eat me and that Levi had saved me. Although in the process he injured my arm severely and caused some internal bleeding from my forceful hit to the ground. I also had a deep gash on my stomach from a soldier's lost blades, that I fell onto when Levi threw me.

I had my waist and head bandaged. My lip was puffy and my left arm was in a sling. "Then you were brought here and you have been asleep for about five hours." I looked at Hange. I remembered everything, the pain, watching my friends die. I thought I had no tears left to cry, but more proceeded to fall down my flushed face.

Hange left to get me food, and I looked out my window. Watching the sun set. A beautiful way to end an awful day. I thought I heard someone enter the room and I turned to see none other than Levi standing by the door.

I smiled at the sight of him. "Levi'' I whispered, although I'm sure he heard me. My smile soon dissipated and I soon again looked as defeated as I felt. I looked into Levi's eyes as he was walking towards me. I could see they hurt. I could tell he was in pain.

"Thank you Levi." I said tears threatening to spill, yet again, from my eyes. "I- I'm sorry... I'm s-so sorry" I said again, my voice broken and tears falling. Levi looked at me strangely for a minute, and I couldn't help but get a sense of deja vu.