Thanksgiving Is Fucked! (literally)

+ 'THE TURKEY REVENGE', ACT 1

[curtains rise and narrator pops up] this is the shitty storytelling of y/n. but oh, this is not like any other story⎯ you see, y/n has a dick. it may be small, but it's a dick. and you will ask me, this poor nameless narrator that i am, 'but how is that special? a lot of people have dicks!' well yes, but there are many things people with dicks can do.

or idk i don't have a dick. well, i do, but it's shy and has social anxiety so it hides. anyways, that's not the point, the point here is, y/n has a dick.

and somehow, that detail is very significant to the story.

'but narrator, why is that significant to the story?' you may ask, and to that i say stfu i'm getting to that part.

anyways, ahem- hi! i'm the narrator and i'm here to tell the story of y/n. *reads script* the boy who fucked thanksgiving...? *raises eyebrow* anyways, our story begins in... um... *looks more closely at script* wait, what does this say? staff! hey, HEY, what does this say? goddammit, who wrote this fucking script?! the handwriting is shit.

wait- famel bob wrote this? you mean, the famel bob? di-did he seriously write this? yeah yeah i know, i talked to him on the phone before coming here⎯ no? he didn't tell me anything about what the story was. WHAT? h-how will i fucking know!?

*narrator sighs done with this shit* i don't get paid enough for this, i- wait, i don't even get paid! hey, HEY! you, i wanna talk to your boss! YEAH, WHERE TF ARE THEY? WHERE IS FAMEL BOB?

wait... he's not here? oh they are, but they say i have to finish this script first? *narrator stays silent* YOU KNOW WHAT⎯?! *throws scrips and starts beating staff*

[curtains close]

[monotone voice] please excuse us, we'll be back in a moment!

[narrator is back in the chair after severely beating up one of the staff members and having a 'talk' with famel bob]

anyways, where was i? oh yeah, y/n. ummmm... *reads script and scene plays*

y/n! oh dear y/n! he was angry. enraged even, you could say.

his friends had done something unspeakable⎯ so unspeakable that we will not mention it in this story (make your imagination run wild).

so, y/n was set for blood, he was set for revenge. and what better day to conclude his plan on the one people perform gratitude?

oh, thanksgiving day!

he had a plan, a very calculative plan. he called it... 'the turkey revenge'? pfft- *narrator laughs* THE TURKEY REVENGE? what a shitty name bahaha-

anyways, *clears throat* he called it, the turkey revenge- BAHAHAHAH I'M SORRY I CAN'T──

[scene cuts]

[take two]

he had a plan, a very calculative plan. he called it, *pauses for a second trying not to laugh* the turkey revenge. why? well mostly because he was not creative with names.

anyways, the plan was to fuck up the thanksgiving turkey.

no, like, literally.

y/n fucked a thanksgiving turkey.

*narrator chuckles in disbelief* how does famel bob come up with such weird stories── no yeah, i've read their other ones, it's free fucking trauma. i had to call my therapist after reading the carrot one. anyways-

wait, that's it for chapter one? are you serious?

oh-! he's writing this as he goes? oh i see, well then, that concludes chapter one! please... *reads the bottom of script* 'vote and comment, it helps me a lot :]'

so umm, yeah! see you next time.

[curtains close]