Thanksgiving Is Fucked! (literally)

+ 'THE TURKEY REVENGE', ACT 2

[curtains rise, once more, ready for the shit show and narrator pops up]

anyways, where were we? *reads script* oh yeah, umm, y/n's plan to... fuck a turkey... *baffled smile* dear god──

so, y/n's amazing plan (note the sarcasm) was set into motion. the day? november, thursday 25th── thanksgiving. time? 4:20 AM because apparently, that's a great time to plan to fuck a turkey in order to get revenge on your friends (note the sarcasm again).

anyways, y/n jolted up in mind... 'like he had bugs in his ass'? *narrator laughs in horror* wtf─ are you sure famel bob is not high when they write this shit? no, they're not? they seem like they are. 

hmmm... so, according to him, 'he's too poor to afford drugs, therefore, he isn't on drugs'? yeah yeah, i do not believe that. tell me, has he ever gone to therapy? yeah, that's what i thought.

so, going back to the story, ahem──
*continues reading shitty script*

y/n jolted up in bed like he had─ you know what, i'm not saying that part.
y/n jolted up in bed in a quick motion. his breathing was heavy and he had small beads of sweat on his forehead. with his shirt, he carefully wiped them off.

half-lidded eyes traveled to the window in his room and he took notice of how dark the sky outside still was. if you squinted hard enough, you could even make out the shape of the moon there, in the starless sky. there were no chirping birds marking the start of another day, either was there any noise from cars or people. there was simply silence.

and, in brief moments like this when it's neither day nor night, the world seems to come to a stop. and with it, a sort of understanding of human life and what is and what isn't. between that brief second, nothing moves── nothing changes. therefore, nothing neither good nor bad happens. even if it's just for a mere second, it seems to be enough.

*narrator grins* is this really the same guy who writes about fucking carrots─? it is?

and just like that, the mere second the world stopped in disappears. the earth starts spinning again and life goes back to the way it was.

y/n blinks slowly as if he had just gotten out of a trance. he eyes the clock on his small desk beside his bed. 4:21 AM. still in a faze, he tries to recall the reason for his abrupt awakening. then, he remembers.

he had had a nightmare that scared him so much that made him pull his feet inside the blanket. yes, y/n sleeps with his floor grippers outside of the blanket. why? because he's a menace to society. well, anyone to decides to fuck a turkey should be labeled as a menace to society in my opinion.

anyway─ it was still too early and he decided, or well, more like tried to go back to sleep. turning and flipping on his bed made him realize that it was a futile effort so, he decided to get up and prepare the... 'most scrumptious lumptious mouth-watering dick-hardening pussy-wetting thanksgiving meal he has ever made'? *narrator pauses trying to comprehend sentence* ok──?

the teen boy─ that may we mention is 18, so, he's not a minor─ got out of bed. *narrator raises eyebrow*...and that detail is somehow very important to the story because apparently fucking a turkey if you're not 18 or up is illegal...?

well, i think fucking turkeys, in general, should be illegal-- a scream for help. but i do not fuck turkeys, so i wouldn't know. ah shit--- i got out of track, anyways let's skip some shit here because umm... too much.

why don't we get straight to the action m'k?

moving forward a few hours later and- [staff hands narrator piece of paper] what's this? oh-! a special note from famel bob? let's see what this says... *narrator reads note* 'please PLEASE vote and comment on the story! i love seeing you guys comments it makes my day :]'

ugh--- anyways let's get back to the story.

[ time skip brought to you by the narrator's underpaid check ]

y/n put his apron on and made a messy tie on it. he rolled up his sleeves and let out a sigh as his sharp eyes thoroughly inspected everything that was laid out in front of him. "spices, checked" he swiftly moved along his kitchen. "potatoes, checked" "turkey and ham, checked."

once he had re-checked everything on his list, he walked to the dinner table where a bottle of red wine sat. he carefully opened one of his top cabinets and fished out a glass. messily and without much care, he filled the wine glass to the top, some of it spilling slightly on the table but he didn't seem to care much about the small mess.

the boy brought the filled-to-the-rim wine glass to his lips and took a big sip of it. the somewhat strong flavor enveloping his taste buds. he let out a satisfied sigh, smacking his lips slightly. "it's like a reward."

the sun hadn't even fully risen but y/n was here, in his kitchen, drinking red wine at 5:17 in the fucking morning listening to classical music (he's a fancy bastard) and going over his revenge on his 'friends'.

the boy scratched the back of his head and quickly went over what he had in mind to prepare for today.

for the main dish he could prepare a deliciously roasted-to-the-perfect-point turkey with his homemade cum-cheese stuffed inside (if only he was the one being stuffed this thanksgiving 😔).

following that, he had in mind making a ham marinated with his scrumptious cum. for the side dishes, he would make a yummy mashed potatoes with his cum, and to add a little extra flavor he would also add some of his spit.

for the second side dish, he had in mind preparing some macaroni with the expired cream cheese he had had in his fridge for approximately two weeks now. this, again, with some of his cum.

all of this will be accompanied with some biscuits. just normal biscuits. *narrator chuckles*

and now, for the best and his favorite part, dessert--! homemade chocolate chip cookies, with, not surprisingly, his cum.

y/n will have to cum quite a lot today but it's ok, he had started no nut november a month earlier-- no nut october. yes, he had been planning to fuck a turkey for more than a month. now that's what i call dedication! *narrator sighs* if only famel bob had a third of y/n's dedication to update their stories more often. anyways---

the bastard smiled faintly, taking one last sip from his wine. "welp, one's gotta do what one's gotta do--" he murmured, slowly unzipping his pants.

*narrator smiles, reaching bottom of script*

annnddd yeah! that's it for chapter two, thanks for tunning in into your regularly smut book about things that one probably shouldn't fuck if you have some dignity left written by the very lovely *narrator's eye twitches* famel bob!

please stay tunned and come join us for chapter three: 'THE TURKEY REVENGE', FINAL ACT

famel bob promises that this chapter will contain the smut that some of you sick bastards, for some reason, want to see.

see ya next chapter!

[curtains close]

narrator: *sighs* what am I doing with my life──