Lose Control (Bakugo x OC)

26

"Sage are you okay?", Shoto held my arm, I quickly slapped his hand away, "Don't touch me!", I sobbed. "Sage, please let me help you", he pleaded, "No!", I stood up, "I don't need your help!", I cried out.

"Sage you need to calm down and control your breathing", he said calmly, "Don't tell me what to do!", "Just leave me alone!". I looked to the side, tears streaming down my face. "It's him, isn't it?", Shoto said in a low tone.

I looked to him, his figure blurry from the tears in my eyes. "It's always been him", I said, my voice cracking.

Shoto's eyes fell, "Don't let him go", he said before he walked past me. I shut my eyes and threw my head back.

-the next day-

(song rec: It's OK (slowed)- Edith Whiskers)

I laid in my bed, staring out the window. My body felt heavy, my mind empty. I laid there as days passed. I wasn't hungry. I wasn't tired. I couldn't feel anything.

I dragged myself to class and work, each day longer than the last. I felt lost without him.

I watched the cloudy sky as rain fell on the window. I laid like this for days. My sense of time was lost. I didn't care. Nothing mattered without my best friend, my person.

I couldn't sleep. I missed his warmth, comfort. It pained me too much, I couldn't handle it. I stared at the sad sky, hoping he was maybe thinking about me too. I just wanted to know he was okay.

My heart hurt when I saw his smile in my dreams, when I heard his laugh, when those deep red eyes would meet mine. It all hurt too much. I lost him, cause of my own stupid choices.

I sat up on the bed, facing the window. Watching the raindrops fall, my mind was lost.

He brought out the best in me, he saw parts of me that no one ever could. He marked my soul, I know I will never love anyone the way I love him.

The laughs, the memories, the smiles, the sleepovers. It was all gone, lost.

Part of me had a sliver of hope, he'd forgive me, in this life, that someday I could be with him, and never let him go. And tell him that I love him, I love him so much it consumes me.

But that hope faded as every day passed, every day that he wasn't here. Every day that he ignored my calls, texts.

My head fell, I shut my eyes. I opened my eyes and felt a tear fall down my face. On rainy days like this, we laid in bed all day together, as we watched the rain fall, we'd watch movies, nap, stuff our faces.

But now I sat here, alone. I stood up, walked to the window, and rested my head on it. I put my hand on the window as rain fell on the other side, I shut my eyes.

I sighed deeply and opened my eyes. I walked out my room, the loft felt empty without him, this wasn't home, he was. I wandered my loft sluggishly.

My eyes fell onto the photo of us when we graduated high school, wide smiles on both our faces, his arm around me. I didn't even notice I was smiling, for the first time in weeks, genuinely smiling.

I shut my eyes and held the photo close to my heart. "I miss you", I said quietly.

I saw his jacket hanging in the closet, I stared at it for a second. I grabbed it and held it tightly, his scent hitting my nostrils instantly, I smiled.

I called his number, no answer. I looked to the side, my eyes watching the rain fall. I slipped his hoodie on and made my way downstairs. I walked down the empty streets, letting the rain fall on my face.