Kokoro no X (I) ~EDITING~

Three

At least it's sunny today. I opened the blinds at the front of the house - it was unusually cold, too cold to open the actual windows. I tried to get into my room, but it was locked, and I began to panic a bit before I remembered:

Right. Sayuri is still here. I let go of the doorknob and started to walk away.

Then I stopped.

All of my clothes are still in there.

Why? Why why why why why was I so incredibly dumb last night? Who in their right mind would let someone sleep in their room the next morning oh god now I'm late and she still needs a ride home-

"Oh- g'mornin, Tamotsu," I turned around fast, startled. She was still in the clothes she had worn the night before, but her shirt was offset on her shoulders, and it now sported a dark red stain close to where I had cut her. I suddenly wondered if she had dressed the wound at all.

She looked confused, her eyebrows were tilted amusedly. "Did I scare you?" she asked, a smile hinting at the corners of her mouth.

"No, of course you didn't," I muttered. Somewhat humiliated, I walked into the kitchen to try and busy my burning hands with something that could help me forget that interaction.

"Mm, it's Wednesday, right?" Sayuri yawned, following me into the kitchen and sitting down at the table in the middle of the room. She folded her arms across the table and laid her head down on top of them, her tangled hair splayed out haphazardly over the table. The nightmares hadn't left her entirely unfazed, it seemed.

"Are you offering... food?" Her voice was muffled and tired, a complete turnaround from when I had first spoken to her a minute ago. "Wait- no I mean breakfast. Sorry, I... thinkI'm stillasleep or somethin'."

"If you're asking, then sure." Poison the food. God dammit, not this early.

"Oof, thanks."

"Oof?"

"Yeah, it's an old Allocredan slang term."

"How... old, exactly?"

"Maybe 30 years, or so."

"And you still say it?"

"I've said it at least twenty times this week, how have you not noticed?"

"I guess I just chose to ignore it." You're welcome. Oh shut it.

"Understandable." She was silent after that.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, she spoke again, asking a question that I never would have expected to hear.

"How many people have you killed? Or, uh, tried to, anyway?"

I stopped. I had never really asked that of myself, nor had I kept track.

Just how much pain had I caused others?

Are you expecting me to know? Maybe a little?

You're dumber than I thought. I mean, you're literally a part of me but alright, I guess.

"I'm... not really sure. Definitely enough to be considered a serial killer, though."

"Jesus..." Her voice still muffled by her arms, she continued, "How many do you remember?"

That was a bit easier, I guess. "A few more interesting ones. There was the businessman from Saun. He was a Chropera Elemental - y'know, one of the real ones, so I ended up being unable to take his powers. Though considering your knowledge of the Korei clan, I... guess you already knew that."