WE COULD'VE BEEN CUTE: letters to my almost lovers

MILANO

Dear Milano,

WE COULD'VE BEEN CUTE.

It was a regular saturday night when you slid into my DMs. I was in the living room, enjoying my latest Netflix-binge: An Astrological Guide for Broken Hearts - an Italian show about a heartbroken girl, looking to the stars to find love. (If you knew me in real life, you'd know how this is very on brand for me.)

Since I'm a hopeless romantic myself, I kept replaying  *that one scene* that gave me butterflies. SWOON. I paused to Insta-stalk and follow the actors in the show, like I always do when I watch a new series. 

A few minutes later,  this is where you come in. I notice that some guy had liked my photos. I'm intrigued. I check his profile, and to my surprise, he himself, is an Italian actor, with 10 thousand followers. Interesting. I get a message. 

"Nice legs. 😍"

Okay. I have mixed feelings. I honestly didn't know how to respond to this. Usually, I would block someone who told me this exact phrase. It's borderline creepy, and definitely not an ideal conversation starter. 

But you're Italian, 10 years older than me, and look like if Johnny Depp and Penn Badgley had a lovechild, so... EXACTLY MY TYPE. It's like the Universe sent you to me, this perfect European man with the face of a God. 

Thank you, universe!

So I gave it a shot. As my mother always says: YOLO.

You ask me where I'm from. I respond. 

I really felt like I was being catfished, until you sent me a video of yourself.

 "Cece! From the Philippines. Very nice. You're so beautiful. I can't wait to see you in Italy."

At this point my cheeks are red. So you ARE real. 

We talk a bit more and it's going quite well.  A little too well... I'm not used to this. 

I find out you're a part time actor, full time security guard for Gucci.

 I tell you you're too cute for that. You say "Thanks, my beauty."

You invite me to come to Italy, "I'll host you." you say. 

"I'd love to, someday soon. I hope to see you." I respond.

Universe, am I dreaming? What are you up to?

You were persistent, asking me to send you a photo, so I send you a selfie that I was just about to post on my Insta.

You tell me I'm perfect. 

I say "I'm far from perfect, but thanks. I'm flattered."

You say my face is perfect, and you...

Say you're a "female feet lover".
WHO WANTS TO SEE MY FEET.

OH C'MON, UNIVERSE. WHY?!?!?!

I mean, I'm not one to kink-shame but I'm so sorry Milano. I'm not into men with foot fetishes.

Arrivederci...

WE COULD'VE BEEN CUTE.

Love,

Cece