𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 | ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉᵈ

𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞? ▸𝒑𝒆𝒈𝒈𝒚𝒏𝒂𝒕

Peggy knelt to light a candle in front of the gravestone. Her hands shook as she did so, and tears stung her eyes. When she felt the man standing behind her put his hand on her shoulder, she hung her head on her chest with a sigh. Her fingers touched the gravestone blindly, gently stroking the name carved on it.

"Pegg?" the man said solicitously. “Are you okay?“

She shook her head slowly and sighed. "I miss them." He smiled sadly. "She's alive, but I have no idea where she is. And it's killing me." She looked up at him sadly. "Haven´t I earned my happy ending?"

"Of course you do, Peggy," he replied without hesitation.

"Then why does everything keep going wrong, Bucky?" she sighed bitterly, rising to her feet. Bucky put one arm around her waist, and she pressed against him. Together they looked at the gravestone of Steve Rogers, who had died a few weeks ago. Both Peggy and Bucky had been with him practically every day during his final days, not wanting him to be alone and trying to ease his pain as much as possible. To see Steve old, gravely ill, and even more frail and thin than she had known him, it tore Peggy's heart. She wished they had been given more time. She wished to live many years by his side. She wanted more than what little they got.

Bucky looked at her gravely. “You have to find Natasha, Pegg. You deserve to be happy."

She shook her head shakily. "But how am I going to find her, Bucky? I have no idea where she is. If she doesn't want me to find her, I won't. You know better than anyone that she's elusive. And if she hasn't called back by now . . . it's probably not worth it," she shrugged, putting her hands in her pockets.

"You can't give up. She's got to be somewhere," Bucky insisted.

"Yeah, she's somewhere. But where? The world is big."

"She cares about you. She betrayed a hundred and seventeen countries for you," Barnes smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

"If she cares so much about me, why hasn't she come back? Why didn't she at least call to say she was okay? Why wasn't she at Steve's funeral? And don't tell me she didn't know about it," she added quickly. "Natasha's an expert at getting information."

Bucky raised his hands as if in surrender. "Don't ask me to know Natasha Romanoff."

She nodded and tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear. “I don´t know what I expected. That everything changes after that kiss? I... when I realized I felt something more for her, I felt terrible remorse," she confessed to James. “Because of Steve. Because of our past. It felt like . . . like I was betraying him."

He smiled at her encouragingly. “He would understand that, Pegg. You can't be mad at yourself for falling in love."

She looked again at the gravestone. "He was my first true love. I loved him. And I cared about him so much. I just hope he knew."

Bucky looked at Steve's name with a sigh. He missed his best friend enormously, and he was glad to have Peggy here, at least, who understood him on this. He squeezed her shoulder. “Don´t worry. He knew."

•••

"Don't you want to go? Just for a little while? Don't leave me alone with Samuel, please," Bucky muttered as he escorted Peggy home. The Captain chuckled.

"Is that the only reason I should come?"

"And, of course, because I don't want you to be alone." Then he winked at her. "And I'd miss you, too." Peggy shook her head at him, amused, and was about to tell him she was giving up and had changed her mind and was coming to the Christmas party when Bucky suddenly stopped and grabbed her arm. She looked at him, puzzled, but he merely pointed his chin in front of her. She looked back and her heart skipped a beat when she saw a person standing outside the door of the building where she lived.

"Well," Bucky said, smiling, "I guess I can understand if you're not coming tonight. Looks like you're in for something funnier and a lot better than a stupid party."

"No, Bucky, don't go-" Peggy said quickly as he let go of her arm and waved an amused wave at a nearby redhead before turning on his heel and walking back.

"Go on, Pegg," he called over his shoulder, "you've waited long enough for this. Go give her a kiss and talk."

Peggy watched him go, lost, and mustered the courage to move forward and meet Natasha. And asked her what the hell that was all about. The realization that she had been left alone for so long, confused and without answers, even though Natasha had no reason to remain on the run when everyone was pardoned, finally brought that courage to her. Peggy needed answers. She needed to know what had happened. And how things are between them.

With only a few steps between them, Natasha smiled carefully. They just stood there for a moment, looking at each other, before Peggy looked away and took the house keys out of her pocket. She walked past Natasha and felt her heart pound as she finally got that close again after all this time.

"Are you coming in?" she asked as she opened the front door and held it.

"If you want," Natasha said quietly, and Peggy nodded. The redhead walked past her and toward the first flat Peggy lived in. The Captain unlocked the door and motioned for her to come in, feeling her throat tighten with both anxiety and enthusiasm. Then she closed the door behind them, took off her shoes, and took off her jacket, which she hung on the rack. Without a word, she went into the kitchen and heard Natasha's soft footsteps behind her.

"So," she cleared her throat, taking two cups from her locker, "why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to see you," the redhead replied honestly.

Peggy sighed and leaned her palms on the kitchen counter. "You wanted to see me," she repeated after her, before finally turning around. "Why . . . why didn't you call? Why did you just disappear without a word? If you didn't want to see me, couldn't you at least let me know you were okay?"

"Sorry, Peggy, I ... thought it would be easier that way-"

"Easier?" the Captain moaned. "How-how could it be easier? Why --"

'Because I care about you too much,' Natasha said quickly. Peggy stopped her heart racing. "I hoped that if I disappeared for a while, it would fade. I didn't want to put you in an awkward position and... it was always you and Steve and I was just --"

Peggy couldn't take it anymore. Crossing the distance between them, she grabbed Natasha around the waist in mid-sentence and pulled her in for a long kiss. She felt Natasha relax in her arms and wrap her arms around her neck. Peggy raised her hand and gently stroked her cheek.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered as they pulled slightly apart, and leaned her forehead against hers. "Why didn't you tell me you love me?"

Natasha closed her eyes. "Because I never thought that you could love someone like me," she confessed in a low voice, and Peggy kissed her again to banish all her doubts. She felt Natasha smile into the kiss. “I don´t have any Christmas present for you.“ Peggy laughed and picked her up, hugging her tightly around the waist. Natasha wrapped her legs around her torso and placed her hands on her shoulders, looking down lovingly at her face. She caught her face in her hands and stroked it with her thumbs.

"This is the present, silly," Peggy assured her gently, smiling happily.