𝐶𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑂𝑓 𝑀𝑒𝑛𝑎𝑐𝑒 | ✔︎ |

[2.] Death

{{DAMARA ROMANO}}

Death is a funny thing. It happens out of nowhere. Sometimes it's expected, sometimes it just happens. I learned that the hard way. After I lost my Mother and Father everything fell. And I mean everything. I can barely feel anything anymore, not even when I kill. Or fight. Or even harm myself. I've tried it all. Nothing can make me feel. I've tried so many coping techniques and they have all failed miserably. Pain. Killing. Nothing works.

I've experienced four (five if you don't count my mother and father together) heart shattering, gut wrenching deaths in my life.

1. Dad & Ma
2. Wright
3. Freddy
4. Kaylia

I will never let go of any of them. They broke me and now, I'm the fucking grim reaper. I'm over this shit. If I'm being honest I'm not sure why I'm still here. Well that's a lie I know exactly why I'm still here. I won't leave my little brother alone. He's been through enough. He was only a four when my parents died. He remembers somethings. But I'll never tell him the full story. Not until he's older. We have an eleven year age gap. He's fourteen. Taller than me might I add. He's the only one I've ever given my heart to. It will always stay that way. Vesper is my only weakness.

When I couldn't take care of him, I dropped him off at the adoption center. With a note. I left him there. I did it because if they would have seen me, I would have been stuck in the system as well. They never adopt teenagers. But everyday since then, I wish I would have been put in the system. His parents are nice people. They know who I am and what I do, I still have contact with my brother. We talk every now and then. When I feel like getting something off my chest he is who I go to. His mom too. She's a professional therapist.

His parents are amazing. They still let me keep contact with vesper even though I'm quite literally the devil. I kill people for a living. Of course he knows that but vesper if a teenage boy, a freshman in high school. My job in his eyes is 'super cool' because big sis is a murderer and it's just the coolest. If I were his parents in this case I wouldn't let me see him. That's why I tend to distance myself. We talk twice a month every month. It's all I need. He's the only form of light I have left.

I walked downstairs then outside into the garden and stared at the sky. It's not to clear. Clouds kinda remind me of people. They look happy and playful on the outside, when really on the inside... It's a raging storm waiting on more pressure to be released. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. It smells like its just rained.

"Can't sleep either, eh?" I turned to see Vittorio standing looking at the sky as well. "I don't expect you an answer. I tend to read people well, and the look in your eye is constantly hinting you don't like talking to people you don't tend to know. Or you don't talk to people unless you have to." He explained it perfectly. He looked at me and I nodded then walked back inside.

I despise talking. I'd much rather just sit in a comfortable silence. That to me is better than any other activity. Even reading. Just sitting in complete and utter silence. As long as it's not filled with tension then I guess I'm set.

I ran upstairs into my bedroom and sat on the bed. Yes, I can't sleep. No, I will not go back downstairs. I don't intend on speaking to him unless I have to. I have my shit to deal with and he has his. We are two different people who were unfortunately assigned a job together. We both deserve privacy, and respect.

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I walked into the kitchen and made myself some tea. There is way to much on my mind currently. I just wish I had someone to tell about it. I would speak up and out about my emotions but at the same time I don't know anyone here. I slipped on my shoes and jacket then grabbed a napkin and a pen.