Inexorable Encounter

Chapter 26

Since then, I’ve felt lighter. Finally, I can sleep at night peacefully. I became okay again. Yet, our encounter will remain as it is. He would step aside and just look at me while I walked, as if he was not around. I know he’s just doing this because he thought I was not comfortable with him, but I know, I just really don’t know or how to greet him or anyone.

My Saturday is free, so I planned to visit Inna since it took me a lot of time to visit her before because I was busy and I had something in my mind that visiting her wouldn’t help. But I forgot that it’s Saturday, which means they are not here in their house. So when their door opened, it surprised me.

A woman opened the door with a smile on her face, but it eventually faded when she saw me. I cleared my throat because of that. Because of my heels, I was taller than she was. She has wavy, long, light brown hair. She immediately smiled after she cleared her throat and let me come in.

“Hi—ahm—how can I help you?” she formally asked and motioned me to sit, so I obliged. “Do you want water?” I shook my head. She sat down across from me instead and held the glass of water from the table.

“Is Inna here?”

She bit her lips. “Hindi ko alam kung nasaan si Tita, but I know pinuntahan siya ni Zeni.” She smiled a bit. “Baka bumalik na rin sila.”

I nodded. “I should come some other time, then,” I told her. “I was about to visit her, but I forgot it was Saturday. That’s why I was surprised when you opened the door.”

She winced. “Zeni told me na lagi nga silang busy every Saturday kaya nga nahihiya ako  at nagambala ko siya. I know wala lang sa kaniya ‘yon. Zeni is Zeni and he’ll do everything to provide. However, I’m still ashamed of what I did. Hindi ko naman alam. Nahihiya tuloy ako kay Tita.” She smiled with a glint of shyness. “How about you? Diba artista ka?” My brows automatically rose. “I’m sorry matagal na rin kasi akong wala sa Pilipinas so I don’t know if you’re still acting though nakita ko ‘yung billboard mo with Frances Hernandez.”

“So you know me?” I asked, intrigued. “And yes, I’m still acting. It’s my life.”

She smiled and nodded. “You’re Belle Ivory, of course!” I smiled back, but she suddenly became curious. “By the way, are you close with Zeni and Tita Inna?” She tilted her head. “Hindi kasi nabanggit ni Zeni na pupunta ka kaya nagulat ako sa presence mo. Hindi rin niya nabanggit na close kayo.” Then, she suddenly became attentive. “Ah—baka akala mo kung sino ang binabanggit ko.” She giggled. “Zeni is Izen. I was talking about him.”

“Not really.” I shook my head. “But I seldom visit Inna since I’m busy and we know each other.” Her lips formed a line like she was stopping herself from smiling. “By the way, what’s your name?” I didn’t help but to ask. “You said earlier that you’ve been away here?”

“I’m Zedie,” she introduced herself. “I’m sorry, I can’t drop where I lived these past few years. Confidential kasi.” She smiled, so I understood. “Even Zeni, hindi niya alam.” She chuckled. “Anyway, what can you say about sa look ni Zeni?”

I was stunned but able to answer her question. “About long hair?”

“Yes, his long hair.”

I bit my lower lips, then I nodded. “It suits him well.”

She smiled widely. “Ang ganda ng hair niya ‘no? I didn’t recognize him kanina when he fetched us. Ang haba ng buhok sobra!” she exclaimed. “Hindi ko alam na tototohanin niya ang sinabi ko tungkol sa buhok niya. Napakahaba.” My forehead creased. She smiled and filled my curiosity. “Well, before I left years ago, sabi ko hindi ako babalik.” Her lips turn into grim line. “Baka kako makabalik ako kapag mahaba na ang buhok niya. Ang hilig kasi niya magpagupit kahit hindi pa mahaba ang buhok.”

I nodded. “So you were the one he’s waiting to comeback?”

Her brows furrowed. “You know about his hair?” She smiled. “Sabi niya rin kanina sa akin, I’m the reason behind it.” I nodded. “I asked him pa nga kung magpapagupit na ba siya right after this, since bumalik ako.”

“Will he cut his hair?” I curiously asked that brought suspicion on her but she just shrugged.

“He just smiled at me. Hindi na niya ako kinausap after that.” She laughed. “Kahit kailan, malihim.” Then she shook her head.

“Since you’re back, Zedie—” She looked shock from how I addressed her. “I hope you don’t mind calling you by name. It’s comfortable.”

She nodded. “Sure, okay lang.” She smiled with assurance. “I heard some opinion about that attitude. Way pa lang ng pagtawag mo kay Tita Inna kanina.”

“I can’t blame anyone for thinking that I’m attitude or that I don’t have respect.” I gave a hearty smile. “If weren’t about business or politics, I wouldn’t call someone with their abbreviations and names. I’m comfortable with only their names.” I smirked. “What is the basis of respecting someone anyway? Is it just by saying po and opo or calling someone ate or kuya?” She looked like she was about to say a thing, but she didn’t dare. “In my opinion, it’s a toxic Filipino culture.” I rolled my eyes. “Once someone forget to say po and opo to the older people or stop calling them ate, kuya, tita or such respectful names, they’re calling them immoral. Not having respect for the elderly. But the fact here is, even though we use it, it doesn’t change the fact that most of people don’t know the respect word.”

“Oh—” She bit her lips. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Belle.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not offended. I barely explain my side here because no one will understand—”

“Though I understand.” She smiled and nodded. “Sa ibang bansa, normal lang ang ganiyan. They are liberated.”

“And Leon will say that we’re not in a liberated country,” I stated and chuckled. She suddenly coughed, so I asked her if she was okay. She nodded and sipped on her glass. “Though he likes it if I don’t call him kuya. I don’t like it either. It’s too revolting.”

She chuckled. “What are your saying pala kanina?” she asked or changed the topic, making my brows wrinkle. “About me being here again.”

I nodded. “Ahh that—” I cleared my throat. “Are you staying here for good then?” I finally asked. “Did you come back to finally stay?”

She stiffened before shaking her head. “I don’t plan to.” She gave me a brief smile. “I came back just because it’s my Mom’s 60th birthday, dahil binantaan niya akong itatakwil niya ako once I didn’t attend her day. I am obligated to come if ayaw kong mawalan ng mama.” She laughed, so I chuckled.

“When are you leaving then?”

“Immediately,” she replied. “Tomorrow lunch ang flight ko pabalik.” I nodded. “Mamaya rin aalis na kami, hinihintay ko lang si Zeni.” My head turned up and down slowly.

“Mom! I saw some girl stuff at Papa’s things!” My forehead creased when I heard a little voice coming from long hair’s room. Zedie’s eyes went round as she also looked at the room. Long hair’s door opened and a little boy came out of the room. “Why would Papa have this?” He stopped coming to us when he looked in our direction and saw me. “I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something, Mom?” the boy politely asked. He looked innocent and cute. “Hi, I didn’t know Papa had a visitor,” he said to me and slightly bowed his head.

“No worries, kiddo.” I gave him a smile, and he smiled back at me. Zedie called her, so he went with his mom.

“Did I tell you not to mess with your Papa’s things, Zi?” Zedie asked him with a scolding tone. But her voice sounded nervous. While I was amazed at his nickname—Zi.

“Sorry, Mom.” He was pleading with his eyes that even I couldn’t resist. “I got curious about this box.”

“Don’t do it again, Zi.”

He nodded. He pulled down Zedie and leveled his mouth to Zedie’s ears and whispered, though I heard it clearly. “Who is she, Mom? We have the same eyes. It’s pretty.”

I smiled. “I’m Belle, kiddo,” I replied instead. He looked at me.

“Hi, Auntie Belle! You’re pretty.”

I giggled. “And you’re cute, little boy. What’s your name?”

“He’s Zion,” Zedie immediately answered. The kid looked at him with confused eyes and it gave me confusion too, but I set it aside when I thought about something else. “Go back to your Papa’s room, Zi.”

“How about Papa? He told me we were going to play.”

“Later, Zi. He’s still with Grandma Inna.” Zion nodded.

“Are we going to see lion?” Nervousness was more evident on Zedie’s face, but my focus was indebted to Zion. I don’t know, but I only knew I was mesmerized by this little kid.

“Do you like lion, Zion?” I asked. He looked at me and nodded.

“Zion likes lion!” he exclaimed.

I giggled. “That was rhyming!”

“And it sounds nice, right, Auntie Belle?”

I nodded. “I suggest you call me Isa, Zion.”

“Why Isa, Auntie?”

“It’s my name. I’m Isabel.”

“Wow! You have two names?” I nodded and smiled at him.

“And I’m an actress.”

He looked more amazed. “I’ll call you Isa then?”

“Tita Isa, Zi,” Zedie corrected, so I chuckled.

“Tita Isa.” He giggled. “I have an auntie actress!” he exclaimed. “That’s nice, Mom!” He smiled widely. “How are you related to Papa?” This time, I was taken aback. “Are you waiting for him too? Will you two play?”

Zedie shook her head. “Zi, only kids like you play,” she laughingly told Zion.

“Then do you own this?” he asked again, which stunned me when he pointed to the box he was talking about girl stuff in long hair’s room. Zedie looked curious too so I cleared my throat.

“Zion, you have a lot of questions. You’re drowning your Tita Isa.”

“Mom, doesn’t she look familiar?” My forehead creased with confusion. Zedie’s nervousness came back.

“I saw her on the bulletin board when your Papa picked us up,” she said. “Maybe you saw her pictures too?”

Zion didn’t look persuaded, but he kept his mouth shut. Zedie looked at the wall clock, realizing that I had taken my time already.

“I don’t want to look like killjoy, but I need to go.”

“Won’t you wait for Zeni?”

I shook my head. “I still have meeting to attend. Maybe some other time,” I told her. “You’re leaving tomorrow, so I’m not sure when we will see each other again. Nice to meet you, Zedie—”  I then looked at the kid next to her. “And to you, Zion.”

“It was nice meeting you too. It’s my pleasure to meet one of a kind, Belle Ivory.” I smiled.

“Nice to see you, Tita Isa,” Zion uttered sweetly. I was shocked and happy at the same time when he hugged me. “I hope I’ll see you again, my auntie actress.” That soothed my heart.

I was reluctant to leave, but I have an afternoon meeting with Cristy, and I need to prepare because my outfit won’t fit the place.

“Frances, where are you?” I asked when Cristy left and I’m already in my car.

“I’m in the middle of my date, Isa.” She giggled. “Why?”

“So you can’t come with me tonight?”

“Where to? How about Yurie?”

“Yurie has other personal business, so she can’t be with me. You’re the last person I can call to come,” I said. “But I won’t force you. You can enjoy your date.”

“Where are you going ba?”

I chuckled. “I want a drink?”

“Your Okinawa milktea?”

“Nah. I want alcohol instead,” I muttered. I heard her gasp. “Okinawa can’t sooth the feelings I’m feeling right now.”

“Omg, Isa, why is this so sudden?” I heard she excused herself for the mean time to Kurt. “What happened? Care to share me why you want to drink?” Where do you plan to go?”

I told her where I was going to give her less concern, but I didn’t tell her why.

Since I came, I have been silently drinking shots after shots at the counter. I chose a decent bar and even asked the barista not to tell anyone about this night because I plan to drink till I’m wasted.

Alcohol isn’t my bestfriend. Unlike Leon, who drinks alcohol every night as if it was his routine before he goes to bed. At my lowest state of mind, I’d rather jail myself on my room and feel the loneliness, but this feeling I have right now is suffocating me. I can’t let myself drown by this tonight. In the meantime, drinking must be a better choice to forget everything until I sleep.

“Omg, Isa, you look wasted na!” I looked at that person. Her voice was concerned and stern too. “What happened ba? Bakit?”

I shook my head. I was still perfectly fine. She just thought that I’m wasted since I had already drank a lot, but I could still manage myself. We argued when I asked again for another drink, and she said no. But she was not the boss of me, so I asked the barista to gave me a shot, which he did. Frances dramatically sighed.

“You should just enjoy your date,” I suggested.

“Si Kurt na mismo ang nagpapunta sa akin dito because he knows na mag-aalala lang ako sa’yo.”

I smiled. “How sweet.”

“Isa, ano ba kasi talagang nangyari?”

I shook my head again. “Nothing happened. Don’t worry.”

“So why are you drinking?”

“To experience this, it feels so free—” I looked at her. “Why didn’t I know this?”

She shook her head. I was happy that she let me have my way, though she sometimes rants but surrenders. The silence she was giving me gave me warmth. I felt like Frances finally let me gather myself and she’d just have to wait for me to open up, but I know that it won’t ever happen. Frances will always nag me. That’s why I liked Yurie for being neutral. Though they may have different styles of helping me, I know deep in their hearts that they cared for me. Even though I’m too much to handle.

I suddenly put my head down to Frances. My forehead was on her shoulder, and I felt she stiffened when she heard me sob.

“Why am I so lucky to have you and Yurie, Frances?” I asked with a broken voice. “I’m scared that once I let myself again, I will be tamed by someone and used, then they will throw me out like trash.”

“Who did that to you?”

I shook my head. “But I don’t want to ruin someone just to fix myself.” A tear fell on the tiles. “I don’t want to ruin them.”

“Who?”

“I don’t feel like breaking others just to make myself whole.”

“Isa….”

“This is too suffocating, Frances. I will die from this ache. I might die because of this.”

“Don’t tell that, Isa.” Her voice was soothing.

“I will fall to the floor. It will slap the truth in my face. About how pathetic I am. How weak I am. How I am not enough for someone.”

“It’s not true Isa.”

“But, Frances… I am. I fell hard on that floor. It slapped me already. I’m too fragile and that was the truth.”