Painting the Hollow Flaws (Flawed Series #1)

CHAPTER 05

CHAPTER 05

TRIGGER WARNING:Suicide Ideation

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I felt hollow as I stared blankly at our ceiling. Everything that has happened in the last several days has made me numb.

Even if it's pain or something else, I want to feel something. All I want to do is feel something.

We remained here in Davao two weeks after I was discharged from the hospital since my mom does not want us to travel back to Laguna because of my condition.

My gaze drifted across the room till it came to a halt when I noticed a nail pusher. I sprung to my feet and stared at it. I only stopped when I noticed blood on my wrists.

"Apple!" Tinago ko agad ang kapit ko nang marinig ko ang sigaw ni Mama mula sa pinto, "Anak, no! Please don't do that!" She rushed up to me and embraced me.

I could feel her shoulders quiver as she cried, but I was still empty. I don't have any more tears to shed. People don't cry when their souls are too burdened with suffering, which is true. They just simply fall silent.

"We should seek for professional help, Leonora." I heard my Tita whispered to Mama at the kitchen.

"We will, but I want to take it slowly. If hindi pa siya handa to open up about what happened, hayaan muna natin. Basta andito tayo."

I took a deep breath before entering the kitchen area, acting oblivious about their conversation.

"Mama, I want to go home." Natigilan sila parehas sa aking presensya at sabay ring nanlaki ang mga mata nang marinig ang sinabi ko.

"But we are home, anak." Mama smiled sweetly as she slowly came near me, umiling lang ako. "Are you sure? You want to go to Laguna?"

"That's my home." Tumungo ako pagkatapos sabihin ang mga katagang iyon.

It took them days to finally decide on letting me travel back to Laguna.

"Call me if you needed help okay? Susunod ako agad kapag tumawag ka sa akin." Sabi ni Tita kay Mama habang nagpapaalaman sa labas ng airport.

My gaze traveled across the area, uneasy with the people I encountered. Everyone seemed to be looking at me, judging me. I froze when a man glanced at me with astonishment, then winked, making me quiver.

"Are you ready?" Nawala lang ang atensyon ko sa lalaki nang biglang nag salita si Mama, tumango na lang ako, hindi ko na lang binanggit ang nangyari.

I was dressed entirely in black, with a face mask and a cap on my head; all I did was keep my gaze down to avoid making eye contact with anyone. I only felt relieved when we are already seated inside the plane. I closed my eyes and drifted off.

"Para ka namang tangi Maine e, talagang iiyak ka kung kailan magccutting ako?" Inirapan ko si Maine na nakatakip ang kamay sa mukha habang umiiyak nang husto, pero patuloy ko naman siyang sinusuklayan. Ganito talaga lagi ang eksena kapag may naiyak, 'no? Meron ding taga-suklay sa naiyak.

"S-sige na, u-umuwi ka na. O-okay lang ako..." sumignhot muna siya bago nagtuloy, "Sino b-ba ako para mag-stay k-kayo sa tabi ko? Ako l-ang to." Uutal-utal niyang sabi.

"Lakas mo rin, 'no? Talagang nang gguilt trip ka pa." Binatukan ko siya nang mahina.

"Sabi ko kasi sa'yo girl, that guy was a bad news." Maarteng sabing ni Kianna.

"Ayan kasi e! May pa 'risk lang nang risk' ka pang nalalaman noong pinagsabihan ka namin! Ngayon anong napala mo diyan sa lalaking 'yan?" Pagmamaldita naman ni Jayden.