Virulent | L.H

i am happy

Alex's POV:

Writing has always been an escape for me, way better escape health wise compared to alcohol. When I am sad, I write, when I am angry, I write, when I am in love, I write. Okay I think you get it.

 I really fucking love to write. 

I get it from my dad. Before he left we were inseparable, he taught me everything I need to know and more about music. I miss my dad when I am not overridden with anger and hurt. It is easier to be angry at him. 

My thoughts are interrupted by the familiar warm hands on my shoulder, shivers never fail to go up my spine every time he touches me.

"Whatcha writing this time, bug?" Luke says softly.

I close my notebook not wanting him to know my thoughts. 

"Just the usual, the next revolutionary hit song. Maybe we can make this one about like money or something cool instead of underwear." I say chuckling. 

"Ah that's a good idea actually." 

I received a thoughtful kiss before he walks away. See, it isn't always bad. There was a time where it was always like this. Just pure love and affection. No arguments, no spitting cruel words or holes in the wall. Just love. I am optimistic that day will come again and these past few months will be something we all laugh and crack jokes about. Things will go back to normal, right? 

I decide to go downstairs, into the kitchen and am greeted by Michael. 

"Hey Lex" He says pulling me into a big hug.

"Woah what was that for?" giggling a bit

"Felt like it. I know you've been going through it lately. You know it'd be better if you were with me instead but it's whatever."

"Mike we aren't doing this right now." 

Mike and I have been best friends for a very long time. Calum and I met him in school when we were just 8 years old. We all became very close. I always knew Mike had a crush on me, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something as well but Luke has always had my heart in a chokehold since we were 14. Mike and Luke have never had a good relationship but it got so much worse after Mike had told me that Luke cheated on me after him and I had gotten into an argument in December. And it got even worse after Mike had walked in on him cheating on me again in Japan a couple months ago. You may be asking why I am still with the guy but that's a story for another time. 

"No, we are doing this right now. He isn't good for you."

"Oh and you are though?" 

"I mean not really but still. Even if you don't get with me I don't give a shit. I just want you to be happy, Alex." 

"I am happy." Yeah okay bitch, say it with your chest next time. 

"Mhm, you really seem it."

"I am," Keep lying to yourself maybe it'll come true "besides, do you know how horrible it'd look if Luke and I broke up and I started dating you? I'd never hear the end of it. I am already called a whore enough by the world. It would be suicide."

"I know, Lex. I just hate to see you like this.. again."

"Don't talk about it, please."

"Not talking about it doesn't make it any less real than it was."

"I'll talk to you later, Mike." I say walking away not letting him get another word in. Going down that route isn't good for me, not now, not ever. 

I enter my room wiping the tears from my eyes, hoping to god my face didn't do that thing where it gets all red. My skin fucking sucks sometimes. 

"Baby, what's wrong?" Fuck.

"Nothing, it's nothing." I say trying to muster up a convincing enough smile.

"That's a lie. Come here." Luke says pulling me close to him. Jesus, his smell is intoxicating. "I won't pry but just let me know if I need to beat someone up and I will."

"Yeah right, you can't fight for shit." I say half joking. The truth is he really could but he is also the biggest softie at heart. 

"What? Yes I can!" He says in his pouty voice, he's precious.

"Whatever you say, cupcake" I say booping his little nose.

He smiles and stats tickling me, he knows how ticklish I am. 

"STOP I'M GONNA PEE" I scream through overwhelming laughter. I am then being attacked with kisses, this is him, this is the boy I fell hopelessly inlove with. 

After a few moments of soft kisses I say breathless and quietly "I miss this a lot"

"Me too, I'm sorry, I really am." He says softly.

"What happened?" 

"I don't know, Lex" We both frown at this. I know he is lying, apart of him knows I know he is lying too. 

I take him into my arms and hold him tight as if any minute he's going to slip out of my grasp and into another. 

"I'll love you no matter what, Lu."

In no time we both fall asleep In each others arms.