Virulent | L.H

sick

Alex's POV:

October 19, 2015

"So, we know that, Luke and Alex, you two split some months ago. We were just wondering how you two were coping with it since this has happened? Has anything changed drastically within the band?" 

Cringe. I know, I know, Luke and I have been broken up for some time now. I would be lying if I said I was over him and I was healed, far from it actually, but I have been able to put my mind to other things. My music, parties, maybe finding someone new considering he already has. But I am not mad!

Now, the main struggle is people becoming comfortable asking invasive, uncomfortable questions, yay.

"There hasn't been that much of a change, we are still best friends and very close. The breakup was very mutual and loving on both sides. We both knew it was for the best, not only for us but for the band too," Luke says in his stupid interview voice.

Fucking prick. Yeah, nothings changed! It was so mutual! 

Bite me.

I nod in compliance and put on my sweetest smile to offer him for the cameras. I can feel it slowly fade as the interviewer goes on to her next question, thank god. 

Our second studio album is coming out in a few days, I have a mix of excitement with resentment. Excitement because there are some bangers on it. Resentment because I was forced to add songs that I absolutely did not want to add. 

Finally, the interview came to an end and thankfully nothing else was brought up about Luke and I. I get up from my seat and allow some people take the microphone off my shirt and once they are done I walk to the table with snacks and water. As I am grabbing a water I feel a familiar presence behind my back. Surprising I didn't feel a knife along with it. I definitely felt a metaphorical one though. But I am not mad!

"Hey," Luke says lowly and careful. I take a second to turn around.

I look at him, being careful not to make myself look smaller than I already do next to his.

About a month ago I found out about his new girlfriend. It is anyone's guess that I didn't react exactly rationally, but who would? From that point on it became more vivid to me that the boy I fell in love with a long time ago was not the same boy standing in front of me. Maybe there is a small part of him left but he is trapped in overwhelming pride. Chiseling away at a solid brick wall with a plastic fork would be easier to get through.

I make quick eye contact and raise my eyebrows but don't hesitate to divert my eyes somewhere else. My stomach turns in emotions I can not decipher every time I look in his guilt covered eyes.

"I just wanted to tell you that you look nice," he says with his sweetest smile making the corners of lips involuntarily twitch into the smallest smile to return to him. It drops quickly though and I nod to at least acknowledge then quickly brush past him.

"Silent treatment still? Come on I am really trying," he continues, I keep walking while he follows me without stopping to acknowledge him this time, "I honestly am surprised you have went this long without talking to me, usually no one can get you to shut up," he says chuckling, he is trying to get on my nerves, "I mean.. I always knew the best way bu-" that's it.

"Can you just leave me the fuck alone? I mean honestly, why do you care if I am talking to you or not? Don't you have a girlfriend  to talk to maybe? You clearly don't need me anymore." I say this nearly in one breath, trying not to puke just from saying girlfriend. After, tears start threatening my eyes and my breathing becomes heavy and rapid. 

"Finally, I was wondering when you'd get that out. Now you don't look like you have a stick up your ass anymore. You're welcome," he winks at me and walks away in satisfaction with a shit eating grin on his face.