Virulent | L.H

carry on

Alex's POV:

TW: Drug Use!!

"Alright Lex, let's see what you got!" Ash says with anticipation.

If only he knew how badly I wanted to take the guitar I am holding, shove it down my throat and choke, especially choke on these lyrics I have to sing in front of them. Especially Luke. Maybe I am being a little dramatic but I really can not think of any other way to express my deep distaste for the situation I am in right now. I don't know what to feel at this point, bare with me.

"U-um sure, yeah, okay," I say with upmost uncertainty.

I start strumming the guitar and choke out the words I have on the paper in front of me.

Don't fucking cry, don't fucking cry, don't fucking cry.

"I can still taste the ocean like it was today," please don't cry, please don't cry.

"I-I said please keep on holding my hand and the rain it came to soon I will wait for you," oh god.

"To love me again," and just like that, I am sobbing. Now I am choking on pure embarrassment and venerability.

I continue to push myself through the verse and chorus with shaky hands and tears streaming down my exhausted face. I did not look up a single time to witness the boys pathetic facial expressions, that would have made it so much worse. After a moment I finally contain myself.

"So, how was it?" I say finally looking up at them. Their faces are stuck, contorted into the same pitying expression I feared. Fucking say something idiots.

After what felt like forever, Luke elbowed Calum in the arm, like I wouldn't notice and he cleared his throat.

"I-it was great, Alex. Really deep, we love it," Cal says looking around at the boys signaling them to nod in agreeance. They must really think I am some kind of dumbass.

"Come on, you're not just saying that right? we can scrap it, its no pro-"

"No, no we will finish it. It is so good, Lex," Luke says interrupting me with a gentle tone and smile.

A few hours later we were able to come up with something very promising.

We came up with the name Outer Space, added a second verse, and even added a song to it called Carry On.

Well when I say we I mean Luke. He took the initiative in the writing process of the verse and Carry On then I kinda of just went with it. It kind of surprised me to be honest.

He didn't go into detail of what his inspiration was, I kind of have an idea why. I wasn't going to pry.

We finish what we needed to do by about 2 am and I was the last one in the living room cleaning up the mess that accumulated over the hours of writing. They can be so messy and god forbid I leave an area untidy. If my environment is messy, my head is messy.

I reach the end of my cleaning spree when I hear footsteps. I turn around and see the familiar beautiful blonde boy.

"What are you still doing down here?" He asks soft and quietly.

"What do you think?" I say with a chuckle "it's just too messy, I was going up soon. What are you still doing up?"

"A lot on my mind I guess," He says looking down. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"What's up?" I say as I gather my things from the table.

"What'd you think of the song?" He comes closer as he says this with his hands in his pockets.