Our maknae

CHAPTER 5

jk pov 
dear dairy 
its bean a whole 1 month i am not fine......things are litreally going out of my hand i am totally sick of all the  crying ,attacks,beatting,ignorance,lies said by me to bang pd ,blamed for the things i have not done,school,

life

its been soo frequent now i don't even feel like crying  but'

 i still love them

today is the day pd  nim is coming 

that one person who knows me for what i do,who understands me other than my grandma 
 he's the only person who can fix everything .......who can fix me 

i hope this day will not turn like all the other days and  I  pray that my hyungs get all the succses and love they deserve 

28/12/17
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with all that i closed my dairy and looked at myself in the mirror 
i felt disgusting ,scares all over my body except my face(i dont want to think that way but i guess  because they knew that if they hit my face all this would be noticeable by the other members ), my thin body was very very thin probably because i only eat   food just to be alive (the real reason is that i don't have money left for myself because 90%goes in my grandmothers health not that shes a burden for me ,i do it on my own will after all she is only  person that didn't abonded me and loved me by her heart)
i putted a loses grey shirt and black denim and went down to join the members 
we were going together to collect pang pd as the members didn't wanted bang pd to notice it.
i didnt wanted to eavesdrop,i was just going to the bathroom when i accidently heard the conversation.........i remember each and every word exactly as it was today.....

flashback

bang pd called everyone in his office  except me 
pd nim-what is all this, i have been seeing that you guys are not taking jungkook  along with you hes always left alone or taking the other car alone ...MAY I KNOW THE REASON FOR THIS BEHAVIOUR

taehyung- the reason is simple we don't like him and we don't want him in the group we are happy in ourselves please cancel his contract 

jimin-tae is saying right we don't want him please cancel his contract 

yoongi-i also want that 

j hope- mee too

rm- i know bang pd that this isn't right but i gave him a warning before hes the one who is not ready to except 

pd nim-WILL YOU ALL SHUT YOUR MOUTHS UP.......I CAN'T BEALIVE  YOU ALL THINK THIS WAY
HE'LL NOT GOING ANYWHERE AND THIS IS FINAL

taehyung-but pd ni-

pd nim- no buts i have already made myself made clear that HE IS NOT GOING ANYWHER.........AND IF I SEE THAT YOU ALL ARE NOT TREATING HIM RIGHT I SWEAR I'LL NOT TAKE A SECOND TO CANCEL ALL YOUR CONTRACTS 

you all can go now 

flashback ends 

this is the second time  we were going in one car 
the first was when i got introduced to them after that i was made to take the other car alone
when i came down  all members were staring at me 

jin-how much time does it take to get ready huh!
"I am sorry" i said looking down 
rm-enough now i don't want any scene to happen
you all remember right that we have to act like one family in front of bd nim