(Book 5 Arrow/Spn xover) Family Is Who You'll Kill For

Consequences

Dean moved the wheelchair closer to the deck railing, locked the wheels, rested his good arm on top of the rails and dropped his head onto it "Before you ask, I didn't say anything because I didn't really know until I started reading the translations."

"I..damn it Dean!" He looked out across the lake and tried to find some way to use the still, quiet night to calm down but found he couldn't stay still. All the things he wanted to say but knew he shouldn't yet drove him to start pacing; the sound of his boots on the wood echoed across the deck. "Keep talking."

"When I fought Cain, I stabbed him with the Blade, I did Sam I swear. He dropped and I should have known when lights didn't shoot from his body and there was a distinct lack of hurricane force wind like when I took out Abaddon that something wasn't right. I just...I wanted it to be over. He hit the floor, and something in me changed, the Mark glowed and I felt this rush of power, of something. I thought it was just the Mark reacting to Cain's presence, then a few days later it started."

"What did?"

Dean's reply was so soft he barely heard it, "The other voice, the feelings. The hate."

He stopped pacing and felt his nails digging into his palms from the force he was using to clench his fists. "You were hearing voices and you didn't think that was important to mention?" If these beams in front of me weren't the size of tree trunks I'd punch them, I really would.

"Just let me get through this without the commentary Sam, please." It wasn't the words that throttled down his frustration, it was the tone. He looked away from the imposing outer wall of Oliver's house and saw Dean wiping his eyes along his arm looking absolutely defeated and lost.

"Sorry," he sat back down but couldn't quite bring himself to offer a comforting gesture, like he would have years ago.

"It, Cain, whatever, it came and went. It wasn't all the time but little by little I noticed things. The whole urge to beat the living crap out of people I'd sort of gotten used to but this was different. Things you would do would start to irritate me, I'd write it off as stress, needing to get back on the road, whatever. I'd start having dreams of picking fights with you but I figured it was just a new variation on an old dream. When we go on hunts I'd start finding myself wanting to get away from you, get out of the room, shoot holes in all your theories. I'd have passing thoughts that you hated me, I'd dismiss it, it be worse the next time. It didn't happen all at once Sam, you have to believe me. It's not like I woke up one morning hating you. It just kept building."

"Then I shot you..."

Dean's head moved in a slow nod, "Yeah, when I woke up after surgery and you were standing over me...well. Let's just say it's a good thing I was still drugged up. Even now, knowing what's it's trying to do I can't stand to look at you, hear your voice. I'm barely keeping it together sitting here talking to you. I don't think Cain is dead, I mean it's not like he and I are having extended conversations but what he told me Sam, all of it...I denied it, said it wouldn't happen but now. Now I think it could. Maybe it's not Cain exactly maybe it's just the curse growing stronger because I stabbed him with the First Blade, maybe that just transfers his essence from one body to the next. I don't know."

"Dean? What did he say? You never told me he said anything."

He lifted his head off his arm just enough so that Sam could see his face and when he did his first impulse was to get as far away from Dean as possible. "He said I'd kill Crowley, Cas then you. That I was living his life in reverse, that he and I had the same type of reckless courage which is why he gave me the Mark. When I took it on he told me that we were a lot alike, I'm starting to see why." He clenched his jaw, closed his eyes and looked away again. "Damn it."