(Book 5 Arrow/Spn xover) Family Is Who You'll Kill For

Put The Lies To Rest

He woke up to a loud knock at his door, "Sam. Let's move."  

"Yeah, all right," he answered as he relaxed his grip on the gun he'd started putting back under his pillow when he slept. His eyelids felt like sticky bricks and his body was informing him in no uncertain terms that he needed more sleep but he pushed that aside as he rolled out of bed and took a quick shower. He'd packed before he went to sleep because he knew Dean would be impatient to hit the road. 

We shouldn't be doing this. The hot water hit his skin, managing to relax him and wake him up at the same time. I know this will just end badly somehow but this is the first thing in weeks he's wanted to do, I've been dragging him along on hunts but he hasn't really been in the game. This time he seems to be, which is probably the exact reason I shouldn't let him go. Maybe the fact that we're helping someone we actually know is making a difference, giving him something to hold onto. Why can't I find any answers for him? I feel so damn useless. It's harder being on this side of things, I have no idea how he kept sane watching me going through the Trials knowing there wasn't shit he could do to help. I just want that damn Mark gone, I want him back. 

He shoved down the frustration as he stepped out of the shower, one of them had to stay on an even keel and his frustration wouldn't help Dean anyway. Once he was dressed he headed into the kitchen, "Did you sleep?" 

Dean had already set coffee and food on the table for him. "A little, you?" 

"Passed out. You want first shift driving? I can do it if you want to sleep more on the road." 

Dean shot a slightly disbeliving look at him, "You look like hell. I'll drive, you sleep," he countered as he sat down at the table and took a quick bite of eggs,  "Hey, thanks for checkin' on me." 

"Sure, no problem. You look like hell too by the way." 

"Yeah, but I'm not feeling it, you are. I get how you never slept when you were soul less now. It's damned annoying is what it is. Who would have thought souls are the reason we need sleep?" Irritation darkened his green eyes as he downed some coffee, "Makes no sense." 

"Maybe souls help control brain waves?"

That got a laugh out of Dean, "The conversations we have at four in the morning on no sleep. Anatomy as told by hunters. How exactly would you prove that theory Dr. Sam?" 

"Yeah, somehow I don't think any of the possible double blind tests on that would pass peer review or be considered close to humane or ethical."

"I can just imagine the grant paper you'd have to write on that one," Dean was still chuckling and it somehow filtered into Sam who managed to see the gallows humor of it all. 

"It would raise some eyebrows, that's for sure." They didn't say much after that, just finished their food, cleaned up, gathered their bags and headed out.  They were a few miles out and he was geting ready to drift off when the morning's conversation came back to him, "Hey Dean." 

"Yeah." 

"You still have a soul, the Mark doesn't take that away."

"Get some sleep Sam, I'll wake you up in a few hours." 

 Shit! Just how bad has it gotten if he can't even agree on that point? How the hell can I help him? Although his eyes were closed, he got very little actual sleep as he wracked his brain for some answer, even though he knew there was none. He felt Baby slow down at some indefinable time later, between his thoughts and what little drifting in and out of sleep he'd done he'd lost track of time. He cudgeled his brain into higher level of functioning,  "What time is it?"