(Book 5 Arrow/Spn xover) Family Is Who You'll Kill For

When "I Love You" Means Nothing But Pain

"..and the second one is, I love you," Oliver said. That should have made her happy but it only infuriated and saddened her.

Once he left she collapsed into her chair and had to grip the sides to keep from punching her computer screens in frustration. "Great, say you love me right before you head off to get killed, again. You think you're being noble and heroic but you're being a complete and utter moron. The League wants Sara's killer, they already hate Merlyn, problem solved Oliver! Thea will get over Merlyn dying especially when she finds out the truth, you never give her enough credit! I love how you never seem to notice that everyone you protect with your lies has ended up worse off than if you'd just told them the damn truth to begin with," She forced herself to take a deep breath, "And Dig just sits here and let's you go. I know he has a family but he could be back up, go on a different plane. I have no idea what has happened to either of you. We used to work together!" Pain shot up her arm as she hit the top of the table without even realizing it, "Ow! Well I'm not going to abandon you as much as you want us all to. Screw that!" She turned on the tracking device that she had slipped into his bag when he'd turned away from it while packing. "Oliver Queen, if you honestly think I am letting you out of my sight you haven't learned a single thing about me over the last two years. Which is something we are going to have a very extended, loud and in depth conversation about when you get back. Now I just have to make sure you make it back." 

As the green beacon blinked on her screen while he rode farther and farther away from her and closer to whatever pain Ra's was going to inflict she wracked her brain for ideas on how to help him. ARGUS wouldn't want to get involved, Roy was an amateur and Barry wouldn't have the first clue on how to deal with the violence that the League could bring. The very short list of Oliver's allies narrowed down to two, she knew they would say yes, as much as they deserved some peace in their lives. 

"Call Sam," she told her phone, already feeling guilty for bringing a whole other load of turmoil to the door of the Winchesters. 

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Sam hadn't gotten a full night's sleep since saving Dean from his demon side, he'd made a point to check in on his brother several times each night. At first things seemed as normal as it got for them, Dean would sleep through the night as well as he could, but then as time went on Sam would find his room empty. The first few times it happened panic raced through him as a myriad of possibilities for what his brother could be doing ran through his mind. Was he out killing? Had he given up? His first thought had been to race to the garage and see if Baby as still there but he usually ended up running into Dean in the kitchen or the archives reading. Dean would blow it off as he wasn't all that tired, he knew the lie of it but allowed Dean to keep up the facade. The last few weeks, after Charlie, things had changed. He found his brother at the underground gun range more and more, shooting round after round into paper targets or training with knives, something they had never done in the past. He was becoming less and less Dean, Sam could see things slowly slip away. The humor, the willingness to fight against all the odds, the confidence he'd always had even if half of it was sheer bluster, it was all being chipped away by the Mark. What worried Sam the most was how the weapons seemed to call to Dean more and more, there was no reason for him to spend hours shooting or stabbing things. He often wondered if he would wake up one night and find Dean standing over him, gun in hand, eyes cold as he pulled the trigger. 

He saw Felicity's number pop up on his phone as he made his way to the gun range, Dean wasn't in his room again and Sam heard the muffled echos of Dean's 1911 firing over and over again. "Hi. What's up?" 

"Sam.." He sounded exhausted which made her feel worse, "I'm sorry to call so late." 

"It's fine, I wasn't asleep. You sound upset, is Oliver okay?"