Clumsy (y/n)! Erwin x Reader

Chapter 19

He woke up to find her gone and took some of her stuff with her.
It felt cold without her. But his panicking and thoughts took over him completely. In any other situation, he would've stayed calm and knew what to do, but this, he just couldn't.
The day passed by without them talking.
Erwin in denial, and (y/n) crying all day.

The next day she couldn't go to work, so she called Nanaba and apologized.
Erwin texted her to check on her but she didn't reply. She didn't know what to say.

=Are you ok?

Seen but no reply.

=Come on, (y/n)! Please, I'm worried.

-what do you expect me to say? I'm fine, don't worry?

He sighed. She had a point.

=Are you at least physically ok?

It was a stupid question, but he couldn't do better.

-yeah, Erwin. I'm *physically* fine

=good.. if you want anything, tell me

She saw the message and didn't reply. She kept thinking about his reaction, trying to digest that it came from Erwin.

The next day she went to work. She went to his office.
He felt sorry once he saw her, she had been crying the past two days, her eyes saying it all.
"Got a minute?"
"Sure."
She took a deep breath and said:
"Listen, Erwin. When we dated the first time and I blew it up, we didn't have closure, and it hurted me. So I'm not doing it again."
She paused for a second waiting for his reaction but he didn't show anything.
She sighed and continued: "you have to choose right now, whether you want to be with me, whatever happens, and we'll figure each step together. Or, you want this to end. And in this case you won't be seeing me again."
It took him time to reply. (Y/n)'s heart was beating fast. She had prepared these words from the day before.
"I want to be with you, (y/n)" Erwin replied finally.
"Really?"
"Yes.. It just took me time to make up my mind the last two days. I'm sorry."
She started to cry. He stood up and went to her, taking him in his arms.
"I'm sorry." He said again.
She looked at him and smiled. She was still hurt but she was willing to forgive him.
They just have to wait for two weeks.

***

It was spring then. It was getting warmer.
For the past two weeks, Erwin didn't initiate anything intimate with (y/n). He used work as an excuse. (Y/n) told herself maybe he was afraid and he just needs time.

They were buying groceries together and they passed by the pregnancy tests' shelf. (Y/n) stood in front of it staring, Erwin just grabbed one and put it in the cart and kept going.
They were silent all the way home. The air felt heavy. In a few minutes, everything might change.
Once they arrived, (y/n) took the pregnancy test and went to the bathroom.
Erwin couldn't sit in one place, he kept moving all over the apartment.

"It's positive." She said once she got out of the bathroom in a quiet voice.
Erwin blinked a couple of times. He was thinking it was unfair, they just did it one time without protection, one time! Why had it to be when (y/n) was fertile?
"No, it is not." Erwin said in denial.
"It is, Erwin. It's positive. I'm pregnant."
She waited for his reply but he kept quiet. She left for the kitchen to get some water. It wasn't that easy for her to know that she will be a mother by the end of the year.

"I can't." Erwin said.
"You can't what?" (Y/n) said, her eyes widened.
"I can't do it" he replied and left her in the kitchen and went to the bedroom. She followed him.
"But you chose! I gave you the options and you chose!!" She was yelling at him.
"I thought I could, but I can't."
She looked at him deeply. He was breaking her heart again, this time even worse.
"No." she said in a calm tone. "You did not think you could. You did what I've told you, you faked it for two weeks. You gambled, Erwin. You took your chances."
She was right, and he didn't argue. He was praying from all his heart that she wouldn't be pregnant and they can pass this all.
"I'm sorry. I can't. I'm not ready."
"Is this all what you got?"
He was looking at the ground. He's world was falling apart. He loves her so much. But he couldn't love what was in her. The idea made him panic.
"I'll come tomorrow to collect my stuff."
She said and left to her apartment.

***

She went to work the next morning. She sent Erwin a formal mail with her resignation. She told Nanaba and the rest that she would spend some time with her family and then see what the next step would be.
They sensed that she broke up with Erwin, but they didn't push her to talk.
Mikasa and Sasha just told her that she can talk to them whenever she wanted, and she appreciated it.
She agreed with Nanaba on staying for a couple of days til she hands over her work.
She left that day before Erwin and went to his place to collect her things like she said.
She packed her staff and patted the cats for the last time.
"I'm gonna miss you guys."
She was about to leave when Erwin came.
They didn't say anything, she just handed him her key and left.

She worked hard the next few days as she wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Nifa -her sister- called her to check on her.
"How come I get the news from Hange?"
"I'm coming home this weekend and I'm going to tell you all everything."

She decided that she was leaving Trost for good. She packed all her stuff and ended her rent for the apartment. And went home.

Her father, mother, and sister knew that there was something wrong and waited for her to talk.

"So, there are a couple of changes in my life." (Y/n) started.
"You left work." Nifa said.
"Yeah, that's one of them."
"Why? I thought you liked it. And I thought you liked Erwin." Her father said.
Her heart ached when she heard Erwin's name.
"Just.. let me finish." She took a deep breath.
"I'm pregnant." She paused, giving them a chance to digest the news. She knew that her family would support her no matter what, but still she was nervous.
"You're pregnant? Congratulations!" Her father was really happy, but her mother kept quiet. She had figured it all out.
"I'm going to be an aunt???" Nifa said excitedly and hugged (y/n).
"But still, why did you leave your job? Isn't Erwin the father? He's the father, right?"
"He is" (y/n) said. "But it just didn't work out between us"
"He got you pregnant and left you?" Her mother spoke finally.
"I don't want to talk about it, Ma. Please."
Her mother was so frustrated, while her father kept calm.
"Listen (y/n), you have my total support whatever your decision is. You're my daughter and I'm going to take care of you for the rest of my life." Her father said, making her cry.
"Oh, Pa" she said and hugged her.
"In what week are you now?" Her mother asked softly, realising that her little daughter is pregnant.
"Starting the Fourth."
"It's going to be okay."
They all were supportive and she thanked god for them.
"Go and rest in your room now. We'll figure everything together." Her father said.

She went to her room and Nifa followed her.
"You can talk to me about it, you know."
"I know, Nifa. Thank you. It just doesn't matter now. It's his choice."
But she started to cry. Nifa hugged her and remained silent.
"I'm scared, Nifa. I felt safe with him. But now.. I don't know how I'm going to it"
"Hey, you're the strongest and the smartest! It will be the healthiest and prettiest baby ever. You'll be the best mother it could ask for. And I'll spoil it and be the coolest aunt." Her last sentence made (y/n) laugh a little.
"You have just been involved with Erwin for some time now that you forgot you have us."
(Y/n) smiled at her.
"Thank you, Nifa. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Well, it's practically my responsibility. I'm the one who got you the job."
"You were trying to help."
"I hope you don't hate me."
"Haha, never."
"How's Abel?" (Y/n) asked Nifa after a while. Abel was Nifa's boyfriend, he was studying at the capitol college.
"He's fine. It's his last year and he'll be back."
"Good." (Y/n) was happy for her sister, she wanted to hear something other than her problems.

***

Meanwhile, Erwin was a mess. He got used to living with (y/n), he forgot how he was doing before her. He missed their talks, her petite body in his arms every night. Sleep was his enemy now. He missed her delicious meals. They were doing everything together, cooking, cleaning, working, and having fun. He even let his beard grow, he got used to her shaving it. He missed her moans, the sound of his name when she says it with her oragism, her beautiful body shivering between his arms, he never got enough of her.
But it was his choice, and he had to go on. He buried himself in his work and the gym. Returning to his apartment just to feed the cats and sleep till the next day.
He stopped himself from thinking about her, he convinced himself that she's ok and that's it.
Only from time to time he would find something that belonged to her, making his heart ache, he would hold it for a minute and then put it in a box under his bed.

***