Clumsy (y/n)! Erwin x Reader

Chapter 20

It had been one week since (y/n) left, when Hange came to Erwin's office suddenly.
"What the hell, Erwin?!!" She said loudly.
"What's wrong?"
"You knocked the girl off and dumped her?"
"Hange! lower your voice please."
"I thought you loved her. And I thought you were a man!" She didn't care about his comment regarding her voice. "Does your father know?"
"No, he doesn't."
"Bffff.. Of course he doesn't."
"How's.. how's she?"
"You don't have the right to know.. but you can imagine. Omg, Erwin! What's wrong with you??"
"I'm not ready for that right now."
"Not ready? Bullshit! Do you think your father was ready? He was 19 for god's sake! And he lost your mother when you were three! He was 23 and raising you alone! I didn't know you as an asshole, Erwin."
"Hange, you're coming to my office to insult me?"
"I'm your friend! You're doing something wrong. I can't stand still and watch. You have to be with her, pampering her, taking care of her. Let the baby hear your voice. Be with her in the delivery room. Hear the baby's first cry and hold it."
Her words were burning his heart.
She took a deep breath and said: "I just don't want you to regret it when you have a 12-year-old boy, smart as you, has your eyes but he hates you."
Then she left.

He left the office directly to the gym, training hard, pushing his limits, trying to forget Hange's words. He told himself that (y/n) wasn't going to forgive him again anyway.
His gym's coach, Shadis, noticed his attitude and told him to stop before he got injured and go home to rest.

***

When (y/n) was about one month pregnant, she went for her first visit to the doctor. She went to Mikasa's mother. She was the best doctor in the district.
Dr. Ackramann examined her and assured her that everything is going fine so far. She gave her some vitamins and talked to her about what normal symptoms to expect.
(Y/n) was spending her time reading and learning more about pregnancy and babies. Sometimes she felt that she got this, but most of the time she felt overwhelmed and panicked.
She didn't get the time to look for a job. Luckily she had saved a lot from her salary. But she knew she needed to find a job quickly. She didn't want to depend on her father for so long.

***

It had been a month since (y/n) left Erwin. He occupied himself almost 24/7, not giving his mind a chance to think of her.

He's father was checking on him.
"We haven't talked for a while."
"Sorry, dad. Workload."
"Mmmmm, how's (y/n)?"
"She's fine." He couldn't tell his father the truth.
"I'm coming to you next weekend."
"Why?"
"Why! I want to see my son."
"I'll come to you, dad."
"I'll wait for you then."
Erwin didn't want his father to see how his life was messed up there at Trost.
So, early on Saturday, he went to his barber and shaved, finally. Then he went home and took a shower. He made sure there was enough food for the cats, and drove to his father at Stohess. He prayed for the day to pass with the least amount of pain.

His father had prepared lunch and they sat together to eat.
"What's wrong son?"
Erwin looked at him tiredly, he knew he couldn't hide it more than that. "We broke up."
"Why? You two seemed in love."
"You know it's not enough.. it just didn't work.. I don't want to talk about it."
"How long?"
Erwin sighed, his father wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted.
"A month." Erwin replied. He expected more questions but his father didn't push further.

"Dad." Erwin called him after a while.
"Mmm?"
"What did you do when you knew that mom was pregnant?"
"I was shocked at first. We were 19. But I was so in love with her. Soon I got excited about having a girl that looks like her. But we got you, a boy that looks like me, with her eyes."
Erwin smiled.
"You were the reason that kept me going. When I lost your mother, if you weren't here, a part of her with me, I would have gone insane. You saved me. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Son."
It was the first time for Erwin to hear those words, he was so touched.
"Every night I would hold you in my arms so I could sleep."
"Why didn't you get married again?"
"I couldn't. I just couldn't. The first time I dated was after six years, you were 9. I don't know if you remember her, she was our neighbour back then. I can't do more than casual dating. And I'm ok with that."
Erwin sighed deeply.

"You left her because she got pregnant?" His father asked softy, to Erwin's surprise.
"I-I'm not r.." the words were stuck in his throat. He wanted to cry.
"It's ok, son." His father said, patting his shoulder. Erwin didn't expect his father to act like this, he thought he was going to be disappointed.
"It was unplanned. It was that one time. Only that one time I didn't focus. And everything changed. She hates me." When he said the last sentence out loud, his eyes began to water.
"She doesn't hate you."
"I've hurt her dad, twice."
His father sighed, it broke his heart seeing his son like this.
Erwin wiped his tears with his hands and said: "I wanted to tell you, it's not my right to hide from you that you have a grandchild."
"I'll spoil him, teach him how to fish, and how to make girls fall for him, how to be a Smith. Whether you participated or not" his father said and shrugged.
"Haha, what if it's a girl?"
"I will try and convince (y/n) to name her Isabel, after your mother. She won't probably do it, but I'll take my chances. I will teach her how to get away from boys. She'll spend her life as a virgin."
Erwin laughed, and for the first time he started imagining his kid, playing with his grandfather, and he smiled.
"Her mother will teach her that. Don't worry."
"She didn't get away from you, I can't depend on her that much."
"That's because I'm a Smith." They laughed together.

"I was her first, dad. You know?" Erwin said, after a couple of moments.
His father didn't reply.
"She.. she wanted to wait till she gets married. And I.. I.." he started crying again. "She didn't want to be heart broken. And I did exactly what she feared." He paused for a second. "She told me that she trusts me.. that she trusts that I won't make her regret it.. but I did." He covered his face with hands.
"Then make it up for her, Erwin. Don't just sit here and beat yourself up about it."
"How? She would never forgive me."
"At least you will take your chance trying. Better than spending your life asking yourself what ifs. Maybe she won't forgive you, but your kid will."

Erwin knew that his father and Hange are right. After a month without (y/n) he realized that he can't make it without her. And if that means having a baby and turning his life upside down then so be it. He just didn't know what to do to make her forgive him.

***